Learning to sail bestows people with stylish windblown hair and the ability to talk to clams before putting them in chowder. Reap boating benefits with today’s Groupon: for $89, you get an introduction to sailing class at Island Sailing (a $200 value). Classes are available from 9 a.m. to 11 a.m., noon to 2 p.m., or 3 p.m. to 5 p.m. Choose from one of the following weekends:
- January 28 or 29
- February 11 or 12
- February 25 or 26
- March 10 or 11
- March 24 or 25
- April 14 or 15
- April 28 or 29
- May 26 or 27
- June 23 or 24
Island Sailing, which has taught the maritime arts for more than 31 years, sends small groups skimming over waves during introductory workshops on the Columbia River. For two hours, American Sailing Association–certified sailing instructors drill five to six novices on the essentials of seamanship, such as efficient jibing, tacking, and bottling of the East Wind. Pupils spend all 120 minutes aboard the Cal 27 or a comparable craft, learning to assist in docking and how to function as a team while rigging and stowing the boat. Meanwhile, a crew overboard exercise teaches aquatic adventurers how to stand proper watch and ignore the allure of sirens.
Students interested in continuing their maritime education will receive a discount of 20% off the two-day ASA 101 basic keelboat class.
Groupon Says
The Groupon Guide to: Predicting the Future
Though the past is regularly derided by historians as boring, millions of people still look forward to the upcoming version of history known as the future. Here's a look at methods for predicting the future, from least accurate to most accurate:
5. Tea Leaves: By studying the patterns left in mugs by boiled tea leaves, one can predict with 100% accuracy the future necessity of cleaning recently used mugs.
4. Dogs / Old People Bones (Tie): Both have the ability to sense upcoming weather hazards such as rainstorms, unexpected meteor showers, and government-created "tornado-canes" designed to intensify populist fear of wind.
3. Tarot Cards: Popular tarot cards include Death, Tragedy, Stomachaches, Bad Vibes, Mild Cable-Repairman-Related Inconvenience, and Seasonal Gloom.
2. Fortune Cookies: Never 100% accurate, but always 80% delicious.
1. Gut Instinct: There's no better way to know the future than to trust your gut. Specifically, if you can see your guts outside your body and in a glass jar, you're probably running out of future.
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