Contrary to popular belief, boats are actually much safer than cars, which inexplicably sink every time you drive them on water. Take a proper water road ride with today’s Groupon: for $19, you get a ticket to either a Portland Spirit tour on the Willamette River or a Columbia Gorge Sternwheeler tour of the Cascade Locks from Portland Spirit River Cruise Dining (up to a $38 value).
The Portland Spirit tour offers scenic sightseeing tours showcasing beautiful glimpses of flora, fauna, and firmament. Board the magnificent Portland Spirit ($28–$38 depending on cruise time), a 150-foot vessel boasting two climate-controlled indoor decks and an outdoor top deck for landscape gazing and playing the sea-bird version of the license-plate game. Cruises set sail at three different times and typically depart from the Salmon Street Springs fountain. Your sightseeing adventure will migrate south, dancing on the drops of the Willamette River and moving upstream to the Milwaukie Basin/Lake Oswego area before returning north through downtown. A full-service bar is available to address all of your hydration and secret-telling needs.
The Cascade Locks cruise usually takes leave from the breathtaking Marine Park in the heart of the Columbia River Gorge National Scenic Area. Narrated tours ($28) aboard the stunning Columbia Gorge Sternwheeler, powered by advanced paddle-wheel technology independent of hamster labor, offer panoramic views of the surrounding landscape. Sightseeing excursions depart for an afternoon jaunt on weekdays, and morning and afternoon tours on weekends. See the schedule for boarding times.
This Groupon may only be used for sightseeing cruises, and cannot be used toward a brunch, lunch, or dinner cruise.
Reviews
Yelpers and Insider Pagers give Portland Spirit River Cruise Dining three stars on average, and TripAdvisors give it 3.5 owl eyes:
- This is a very romantic and fun thing to do for an evening. It is especially nice during the summer when the weather is favorable and the stars are visible. The food is above average and the service is good. – T S., Insider Pages
- Be sure to take your camera, have a seat in the wheel house, and just relax! I'd recommend this to anyone. – hickmangirl, TripAdvisor
Groupon Says
Whatever Floats Your Boat
Actually, scientists have no idea what makes boats appear to float across the surface of water, but they have formed a few possible theories:
- Boats are held up by the colossal strength of a heroic network of phytoplankton.
- Most boats are resting gently on top of huge piles of previously sunken boats.
- Boats are able to cross vast oceanic distances without sinking because they believe they can.
- Boats are made of the perpetually floating candy morsels suspended in Orbitz-brand soft drinks.
- Gravity can't swim, man. Think about it.
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