Though the "noble experiment" of Prohibition failed, other noble experiments, such as teaching horses how to shoot guns and giving suffrage to any horse that could shoot a gun, were huge successes. Celebrate the failure of the 18th Amendment with today's Groupon: for $19, you get a three-hour beer-brewing course at Uptown Market in Beaverton (a $40 value).
Uptown Market's resident homebrewing specialists stock their specialty beer emporium with all the necessary accouterments for do-it-yourself beer-making. Novice brewers can peruse the shop's calendar of classes–each focused on the making of a particular style of beer–and choose to learn the secrets of their favorite genre of frothy-topped libation. During the three-hour course, students are invited to imbibe a flight of beers on tap in their chosen style, allowing them to select which might best suit their palates or conceivably be used as taxi fare. A second flight of beers will be offered based on the style of the class that particular day, and students will also be able to sample the beer they create. Students are welcome to come back when their beer is done brewing, approximately 4-6 weeks later, and try the brew. If a 64-ounce Uptown Growler is purchased ($8), students can fill it to the brim with their beer ($12 value).
Groupon Says
The Groupon Guide to: Emoticons
Emoticons are groups of punctuation that—when bound together and sent through the Internet—express emotions that human words never could. Follow this guide to utilizing the faces at your fingertips:
Emoticon: :-)
Literal Translation: "I'm smiling."
Uses: This lets the recipient know that you are pleased with what they have said/how their online pictures represented your kooky persona.
Emoticon: :-(
Literal Translation: "Sorry, it died."
Uses: This apology can cover anything from forgetting to water a friend's Internet garden to forgetting to water a friend's Internet farm.
Emoticon: :-P
Literal Translation: "Help, my mouth is leaking."
Uses: This signifies that the recipient should call for an ambulance as you are losing saliva at an alarming rate.
Emoticon: :-*$
Literal Translation: "Those three kisses we shared were money."
Uses: Let someone know how much you appreciated their kisses without wasting your voice to call them on the phone.
Emoticon: :::
Literal Translation: "I'm all eyes!"
Uses: Tells the recipient that you have been watching them through their webcam this whole time.
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