Like pizza, flowers, and cinder-block-o-grams, unwieldy bags of pet food are best delivered by a professional. Avoid heavy lifting with today's Groupon: for $15, you get $30 worth of pet food, toys, and accessories from PetFlow.com. This Groupon does not cover shipping, which is a flat fee of $4.95 for any order. Groupon purchasers who spend $59 more than the value of today's deal will receive free shipping.
Online retailer PetFlow.com saves pet owners a trip to the store by delivering dog and cat food and supplies from more than 100 brands, including Hill's Science Diet, Blue Buffalo, and Tidy Cats. Shoppers can narrow searches by convenient categories such as age, lifestyle (organic or grain-free), and conditions (including dental care or sensitive stomach). Hungry Lassies with discriminating palates and a fondness for blue eyes can dine on a 12.5-pound bag of Newman's Own Organics adult chicken and brown rice dog dry food ($25.99). Simultaneously reward good behavior and battle halitosis with a bag of Greenies feline savory salmon flavor treats ($3.99), or provide essential nutrients that can help a cat ace its college entrance exam with ZiwiPeak good-cat venison treats ($6.99). The Huggle Hound Harvie The Rabbit ($22.99) plush chew toy withstands more than 100 pounds of tugging, ideal for endless fetching and taking long-overdue revenge on the Easter Bunny for years of dog-treat-free baskets.
Animal aficionados can set up automatically recurring orders to customize a delivery schedule from every two weeks to every 16 weeks along with email notifications one week prior to shipment, sure to keep Cheshire cats grinning and dogs to donning bibs instead of barking at the sound of the doorbell.
Groupon Says
The Groupon Guide to: Spotting a Robot
It’s no secret that robots walk among us—wearing human skin, pretending to enjoy human fruit, and sleeping while standing perfectly upright on subway trains. What are some other ways you can spot a hidden robot?
• Try “accidentally” getting them wet. For instance, casually hold a large container of travel water in the same hand on which you wear your wristwatch—thus spilling water on an adjacent stranger when you check the hour. If he or she becomes upset that water has been spilled on them, well done—you’ve sniffed out a cyberman.
• Test their logic circuits with a paradox, such as “This statement is a lie,” or “Forrest Gump beat Pulp Fiction AND The Shawshank Redemption for Best Picture.” If they argue that Forrest Gump really was the best film of 1994, nice work, my friend—you’ve ousted an android.
• Simply read the following statement out loud: “I am secretly a robot. I keep this secret even from myself.” If this statement causes you absolutely no alarm, it has most likely been cushioned by the multiple, impenetrable layers of firewall shielding your identity matrix from the cold, metallic truth. Congratulations, and I’m sorry—you’ve found a robot.
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