Hair is like detailed knowledge of X-Files plotlines—although extremely useful, revealing too much of it in the wrong place can sink your social life. Today's Groupon abducts rogue hairs with technology invented by a shadowy group of elites known only as the Syndicate: for $99, you get three laser hair-removal treatments at Body and Mind Laser Spa (up to a $600 value), located in Rego Park.
Body and Mind Laser Spa's well-trained staff removes unloved body bristles in a welcoming, serene environment. Customers can choose from a plethora of areas to induce follicle forfeit: the bikini area, cheeks, chin, cleavage, ears, forearm, hands, navel, sides of the face, three sections of the arm (female forearms, underarms, or upper and lower arms), upper lip, shoulder, abdomen, and lower or upper legs. The laser light will emit a gentle yet stern ray that penetrates skin with a members-only card and exiles unwanted follicles to a small, hair-covered island off the cost of Cyprus. This treatment is fast and easy, and the level of discomfort has been described as comparable to pinches from nearsighted aunts who smell like beige.
Established in 1993, Mind and Body Spa’s gleaming, polished floors, lush draperies, and flowered treatment rooms combine to create an ambience in which hair can quietly leave without the messy emotions of a formal goodbye. You may buy up to six of today's deal, and because one area generally takes six treatments for permanent removal, this means you have the potential to grant three lucky areas of overgrowth the makeover of a lifetime.
Customers may upgrade to an extended bikini area for an additional $150 per three treatments. This Groupon is only valid at the Rego Park location.
Reviews
Although clients of the Body and Mind Laser Spa have not written many reviews of the Rego Park location, more than 50 Citysearchers give the Whitestone location an average of five stars. SpaFinders give the Whitestone location a 4.5-star average and 87.5% say they would visit the spa again.
- I have gone to Body & Mind Spa for several of their services...mani, pedi, facial, massage and microderm. i have had a great experience everytime [sic]. – ansleyk, Citysearch
- The staff was exceptional and caring. Massage therapists are unsurpassed. The best massage, most care, friendly and professional. – adele3889, Citysearch
- If you ever considered laser hair removal, this is the place to go. The service was great, the prices are fair, and most importantly- the results are amazing. – 101010, SpaFinder
Groupon Says
Future Imperfect
The future is a place where humanity will fondly remember the days when we paid money to have lasers shot at us. But laser avoidance is only one of the hassles faced by citizens of the future. Others include:
- the nigh-unavoidable computer virus, Robotulism
- Global Worming
- The Earth's rotation causes half the globe to be plunged into darkness for hours at a time
- roving gangs of rabid, unemployed bloggers
- mass confusion caused by a whole generation being named Percy
- entire barren Southwest renamed Cormac McCarthy State Park
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