The body stands up to gravity's bullying every day, while the mind and soul leisurely spend their time playing sudoku and filling up on chicken soup. Reward anatomies for their hard work with today's Groupon to White Dahlia. Choose from the following options:
- For $44, you get any 50-minute massage and 10 minutes of consultation and dressing (an $88 value).
- For $64, you get any 80-minute massage and 10 minutes of consultation and dressing (a $128 value).
White Dahlia's skilled massage therapists assess muscular complaints and knead away knots and pains with an array of massage services. During a hot-stone massage, a muscle mender arranges heated, smooth, basalt-volcanic stones on the body to deliver comfortable warmth that brings muscles to optimal tension-exorcism temperature. The Swedish massage focuses on long, flowing strokes to reach solidified stress deposits caused by busy schedules, rocky relationships, or missing puzzle pieces. Guests can also tap into deeper layers of muscle relief with a deep-tissue massage, soothe prekid aches with a prenatal massage, or allay tennis-related pains with a sports massage. After each session, clients receive a complimentary beverage to rehydrate or douse imaginary dates with. Groupon holders are not required to have a membership.
Groupon Says
The Groupon Guide to: What Makes a TV?
Enjoying television is as patriotic as knitting an apple pie or eating American flags. Here's a look at some of the components that make up these high-tech picture boxes:
• Glass: A high-end TV has a glass screen that when turned off (not recommended) will reflect your image. When turned on, it will reflect how awesome TV is.
• Cathode Ray Tube: No longer needed for modern TVs to work, but manufacturers still put one in every set just for old times' sake.
• Gold: TV signals, like men's hearts, are lustily attracted to gold, causing them to fly out of the sky into the gold brick in the back of every TV.
• A Couple of Horse Bones: 'Cause why not, right?
• Wires: They hook up to the wired helmets that all the actors wear to beam their acting into your TV.
• An Eternal Flame: To honor the former TV stars who have died.
• Tiny Fire Extinguisher: In case the eternal flame gets out of control.
• IBM PetaFlop SuperComputer: Guesses when you want to change the channel, lower the volume, etc., all to cover up the fact that the remote control doesn't do anything.
• Martin Sheen: He's gotta live somewhere.
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