Although body-exchange programs mean no one ever has to stay in one meat suit for long, returning yours in bad condition means you forfeit your deposit. Keep your constitution in returnable condition with today's Groupon.
The Deal
$125 for a weight-loss package (a $429 total value), which includes:
- Four-week medically supervised weight-loss program (a $199 value)
- Based on Paleo Diet system
- Eschews processed foods and fillers for sustainable, healthy fare
- Can help increase energy, regulate blood pressure, and alleviate skin ailments
- Four B12 injections and optional prescription appetite suppressants (a $200 value)
- Vitamins and enzymes help break down fat
- Paleo Diet book and pedometer (a $20 value)
- One-month membership to Fitness for $10, valid at the Reno and Sparks locations (a $10 value)
- Cardio and weightlifting equipment
- Group fitness classes
- Free personal training evaluation
Center for Plastic Surgery
Dr. Louis Bonaldi harnesses the dexterity and finesse he honed as a concert pianist while performing the Center for Plastic Surgery's slate of surgical and noninvasive services. Equipped with a team of experienced aestheticians, Dr. Bonaldi oversees facelifts and body-slimming procedures that can outfit physiques with a younger-looking appearance more effectively than shopping in the kids' section at a costume shop. A diverse roster of medical skincare services includes microdermabrasion, beauty injections, and laser treatments. The skilled staff also tailors weight-loss programs based on the Paleo Diet system, which replaces processed foods and deep-fried silverware with healthy, sustainable cuisine.
Groupon Says
The Groupon Guide to: Yard Decorations
While purchasing your first home is always something to be proud of, a front lawn devoid of ornaments and personal touches is essentially a vacant lot, attracting feral dogs and train-yard gamblers. Up your curb appeal with any of these acceptable front-yard decorations:
• Phalanx of plastic lawn flamingos
• Cement fountain of kangaroo spitting water into own pouch
• Actual tortoises making the rounds with drink trays
• Large silver orb for some reason
• Koi pond for attracting beautiful hawks
• Life-size fiberglass Mayor McCheese
• Sign inviting local high school honor students to become your child
• Someone’s cat—yours? I didn’t let him in
• Orange tree planted on the day Michael Jordan was born to remind future generations that oranges resemble basketballs
• Bird bidet
• Gargoyle that comes to life at sunset but doesn’t really have anything going on
• Strobe light, smoke machine, tunes
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