Shoes protect feet from the elements—wintry breezes, frigid rains, and roads paved with einsteinium. Periodically eschew harsh elements with today's Groupon: for $20, you get $40 toward footwear at Good Sports Outdoor Outfitters. This Groupon is valid at both the main retail location and the outlet store on Beckwith Blvd.
Good Sports Outdoor Outfitters lines its walls and weights its floors with name-brand adventure kicks for all walks, runs, and cycles of life. Active types can slip into a pair of magenta Nike Women's Move Fit sneakers ($80) or lime-hued Brooks Men's PureConnect toe apartments ($90), granting tiger-like running speed and a deeper growl when enunciating the word "great!" The store keeps clients dreaming of frosty days with gear such as Tecnica Classic Moon Boots ($75) for juniors and fleece-lined winter boots ($90+), both far more fashionable than the down comforters feet traditionally hide under during the winter months. Those eager to explore the speedier side of the pavement can also slip into pairs of Asics trainers ($105+) that test stamina and abilities to evade local jogging paparazzi.
Groupon Says
The Groupon Guide to: the Difference Between Friends and Enemies
Today it's nearly impossible to tell friends and enemies apart because of the fact that their face shapes and nickname preferences are almost exactly the same. Here's a guide to telling a friend from a foe:
Brings Food to Your House: Friend. Though offering another human the remains of a plant or an animal may seem like an act of aggression, those are actually things that humans need for nourishment. Sharing a meal is simply a bonding ritual practiced by groups of friends or by two people who are deciding whether or not to start mating.
Gives You a Ride: Enemy. This is probably just a ploy to get you to a location where they can take your money or force you to listen to their new band. Do not fall for it.
Compliments You: Enemy. Compliments are just insults covered in admiration. Be skeptical of any compliment that isn’t phrased as “I love what you’ve done with your nose holes” or “I can hardly smell you anymore.”
Lives in Your Mirror: Enemy. It's that twin of yours, fooling you once again. Punch the mirror until he surrenders.
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