Less prone to explosions, bird collisions, and painful butt-burns, the segway has edged out the jetpack as the official ride of the 23rd century. Today's Groupon gives you the chance to practice on these leisurely chariots of fire lest the future overtake you at 12.5 miles per hour: for $32, you get an Executive tour of downtown San Antonio from Segway Nation (a $65 value).
Segway Nation feeds the eyes with a scenic smorgasbord of San Antonio's downtown sites while easing the demands on feet with a smooth segway ride. Segway Nation's most popular wheelromp, the 2.5-hour Executive tour explores the city's rich cultural past, present, and future in a journey filled with motorized mirth and frame-worthy photo opportunities. Precision-balanced riders perform forensic analysis on the Alamo's bullet-pocked walls and fall into the orbit of the stunning San Fernando Cathedral, built in 1731 by a devout flock of Canary Islanders. Breeze down culture-packed, tree-lined Houston Street and tour HemisFair Park, home of the Institute of Texan Cultures and the 750-foot-tall Tower of the Americas, with its FM-radio antenna that broadcasts every Top 40 radio station's simultaneous commercial breaks. Stride-free journeys will also roll past modernized marvels including the Alamodome and Sunset Station, a reconfigured Southern Pacific railroad depot. Peppered with information from a knowledgeable guide, expeditions also include time to play around on the segway, getting a feel for the machine and preparing for the day when mankind evolves wheels.
The Executive tour is offered twice a day, seven days a week. Morning tours start at 9 a.m., and afternoon tours roll out at 4 p.m.
Groupon Says
The Groupon Guide to: Deli Meats for Beginners
If you're new to the deli counter, you may be tempted to buy a dozen pounds of every salted and cured meat in the glass case. Instead, slowly introduce these lunchtime favorites to your taste buds and digestive system by trying them in the proper order:
1. Turkey: This opaque fowl is the perfect cold cut for beginners because it tastes like absolutely nothing.
2. Roast Beef: A great intermediate meat, roast beef is just turkey dyed brown and flavored with bouillon.
3. Salami: Even the delicatessen's slicing-machine operators (called "slice boys" or "slice females") do not know which animal produces salami.
4. Pastrami: For experts only! Sound like a pro when you order pastrami by pronouncing it correctly—the R, M, and I are all silent.
5. Liverwurst: This disgustingly named meat is neither liver nor the worst—it’s actually made from pressed vegetables and is the second worst meat, after marrowloaf.
Comment on our feelings board
