Without clothes, there would be no laundromats, and without laundromats, most of us would never get to see strangers' underwear. Enjoy clothes ownership's ancillary benefits with today's Groupon: for $20, you get $40 worth of women’s apparel and accessories at Simply Chic Fashions.
Simply Chic Fashions lives up to its utilitarian name by stocking its eclectic shelves with essential tops, bottoms, dresses, and accessories. Customers can step out for a glamorous evening or semiformal event with a sophisticated red v-neck dress ($21), or reveal elegantly defined biceps with the casually comely mocha tube top ($13). A super-soft khaki belted top ($13.99) pairs well with jeans or slacks, and blingy accessories such as the bangle bracelet ($10) or black chandelier earrings ($10) accentuate the body’s few nonmetallic appendages.
Simply Chic Fashions is staffed by a couture-conscious team who is happy to assist customers with outfit assembly or place special orders for inimitable evening gowns. Like highly classified government documents, purchases are securely wrapped in black tissue paper and a hot-pink bag, and for an additional charge, staff members will gift-wrap purchases for upcoming holidays.
Groupon Says
The Groupon Guide to: Juggling Acts
Juggling is widely considered a dying art because of competition from modern, high-tech forms of entertainment such as making avatars of one's self for the purposes of virtual farming and staring at incandescent light bulbs. Recapture your audience with the following juggling and juggling-related skills:
Juggling Pins: When upgrading one's repertoire, the logical next step beyond juggling bowling balls is to juggle their mortal enemy—pins. Thanks to their carefully balanced weight and seductively tapered easy-to-grip necks, bowling pins can be juggled perfectly by beginners, even on the first try. Therefore there's no reason not to practice while standing on the hood of your dad's car.
Plate Spinning: The ancient art of precariously balancing a spinning plate atop a wobbly rod. Kids today will once again see the appeal of this daring stunt if you rebrand it as Extreme Anti-G Disc Balancing and have them text to vote which plate should be whipped into a pyramid of body spray.
Chainsaws: The holy grail of juggling—save for the actual holy grail, which doesn't count because it's easy to juggle one thing. Chainsaw juggling is considered so dangerous that it can only be legally done blindfolded to prevent you from seeing how scared you are.
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