Acupuncture treatments are used to relieve pain, increase energy, and improve well-being, unlike normal puncture treatments, which are only used when patients are filled with helium. Let your ailments float away with today's Groupon to Bonita Acupuncture & Massage Clinic. Choose between the following options:
- For $35, you get a 60-minute massage-therapy session (a $75 value).
- For $49, you get a facial-rejuvenation acupuncture treatment (a $120 value).
The licensed acupuncturists and massage-minded staff at Bonita Acupuncture & Massage Clinic bolster whole-body well-being with an array of noninvasive services. For all-over care, 60-minute massage-therapy sessions are available in an assortment of modalities, including Swedish, deep-tissue, and shiatsu techniques. All treatments are tailored to meet the client's particular needs, with skilled hands undoing knots faster than a sailor in a yo-yo competition.
Acupuncture sessions target meridians, the body's superhighways of inner energy, with sterilized single-use needles made from such silver alloys as stainless steel and buffalo nickels. Acupuncture therapists turn frowns upside down with a facial rejuvenation, which pampers the skin with Chinese herbal masks, poultices, and moisturizers. Jade rollers also play a role, enhancing blood circulation, improving overall tone, and tightening pores in order to keep out unwanted frisbees.
Groupon Says
The Groupon Guide to: Washing Dishes
Thanks to outbreaks of contagious diseases such as lantern lung and ennui, washing your dishes properly is more important than ever. Here are some tips:
- In the Roaring Twenties, it was common to use a dish just once before donating it to an orphanage for wayward boys or grinding it up to use as pelican bait. Not anymore.
- When cleaning a dish, remember to always use soap or water.
- Soaking your dishes in a warm bath of vinegar will break the dishes' molecular bonds and cause them to reform into tiny sculptures of your own hands.
- Instead of hauling water from your local well to wash your dishes, simply drop your dishes into the well. This won't clean them, but it will anger any vagabonds living down there.
- Save time by throwing your dishes into the washing machine along with your clothes.
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