Like microwave burritos, human bodies look, feel, and smell best after being heated gently within their tortillas. Warm yourself with today's Groupon: for $99, you get one month of unlimited FIT bodywraps at iTAN Sun Spray Spa (a $199 value). Choose from 19 locations; this Groupon is not valid at the Clairemont/USD location.
A favorite of CityVoters, iTAN strives to make figures look and feel svelte, tanning and toning customers with a variety of techniques. FIT bodywraps use Far infrared energy to stimulate circulation and warm areas of the body that are not receiving enough blood or fan mail. Climb into an electromagnetically active cocoon and feel metabolism-stimulating infrared rays inundate cells, encouraging your skin-covered temple to heal, burn more calories, and dilate lazy capillaries. The staff at iTAN also recommends the wraps for customers who want to detox, evicting freeloading contaminants by sweating them out in the heat of the 60-minute moment. A FIT spray product, which is not included in this Groupon, is suggested to customers to enhance the wrap's effects ($8.95 extra).
Groupon Says
The Groupon Guide to: Karate Belts
Karate champions know that supreme mastery of the lethal art is dictated by meditation, nonviolence, and self-control. Because of this irony, all humans start as karate masters and become depreciably poorer at karate with each lesson they take. Here's a guide to punching and kicking your way through the different color-coordinated levels of karate:
- White Belt: Meant to blend seamlessly into your karategi (Japanese for combat pajamas), the white belt symbolizes that you are worried people will laugh if they find out your underdeveloped stomach muscles cannot hold up pants.
- Yellow Belt: The yellow belt is a portmanteau, indicating that you have mastered the first two karate skills—yelling and bellowing.
- Green Belt: This indicates that you have learned how to crush your opponent—so long as it's an aluminum can being rinsed and sorted for the recycling! Well done, Eco-Warrior!
- Purple Belt: You have mastered the deadly art of your own imagination. Dazzle and confuse the enemy with crude pastel drawings in which both your heads share a single body.
- Black Belt: The pupil has become the master, or, to put it in Western terms, the student has beaten up the teacher.
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