According to an old saying, your home is your castle, your television is your court jester, and your dog is your moat. Repel invading dust-bunny hordes with today's Groupon: for $20, you get two hours of house cleaning from La Jolla Maids (a $60 value). This Groupon is valid for homes within a 10-mile radius of the 92121 zip code.
The trustworthy grime fighters of La Jolla Maids thoroughly deterge dwellings to pass even the most grueling white-glove test. During a two-hour residential cleaning, licensed, bonded, and insured technicians attack unkempt kitchens, bathrooms, and bedrooms, zapping dirt with their personal arsenal of cleaning products. They’ll banish splatter from countertops, microwaves, and unsparkling sinks with a thorough kitchen cleansing. Toilets, tubs, and showers will also shine after a rigorous washing, and newly swept floors and vacuumed carpets allow germaphobe recliners to relax and extend unencumbered. La Jolla Maids can also remove trash, mop hardwood and tile floors, and clean all glass and mirrors to remove unsolved games of hangman.
Groupon Says
The Groupon Guide to: Swimming with Dolphins
Humans and dolphins have loved swimming together ever since Copernicus first discovered these “smooth friendsharks” in 1510. Here's a guide to wading with the smartest of sea mammals:
- Before entering the water, make sure you are wearing the preapproved Dockers dolphin-resistant khakis.
- Earn the dolphin's respect by showing it a painting of you foreclosing on the dolphin's house.
- Swimming with dolphins does have health benefits, but only if you and the dolphin swim in a giant tank of medicine.
- Make sure you don't break the number-one rule of swimming with the dolphins, whatever that is.
- Dolphin is a combination of the words Dolph and Lundgren, also the name of the Swedish actor and martial artist that you must defeat in order to gain access to the dolphins.
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