Now that Earth plans to cut its energy bill by having daylight only on Wednesdays, humanity will need to adapt to endless night if it's to keep owls from stealing all the jobs and delicious mice. Start building up your glow-in-the-dark vision with today's Groupon: for $8, you get a Super Combo pass for one, including 20 arcade tokens to Belmont Park (a $20 value) on Mission Boulevard.
Belmont Parks shoos away boredom with a number of gravity-defying attractions and black-lit activities. Super Combo–pass holders can show off putting skills and tooth whiteness in the darkly luminous Pirates of Belmont Glow-in-the-Dark Miniature Golf course. Afterward, partake in unlimited excursions through the 1960's-themed Magical Mystery Mirror Maze, a neon-colored labyrinth filled with era-appropriate music and an animatronic Lyndon B. Johnson. Afterward, patrons can practice their security-evasion skills in the Vault Laser Maze Challenge or navigate the high-swinging Sky Ropes Adventure.
While resting tired climbing muscles or overworked putters, interface with a few electronic fun-creators with 20 Belmont Park–arcade tokens. Players can thrash a button-festooned ax on Guitar Hero, or earn a cache of tickets from a plethora of play-to-win games to purchase sugary treats or noise-making trinkets. Groupon customers can purchase an unlimited number of today's offer, enabling lone wolves, intimate duos, and large groups of visiting Russian dignitaries to enjoy the park festivities.
Groupon Says
The Groupon Guide to: The Beach
Once feared as the most likely battleground of a possible coral uprising, the beach is today revered as a bastion of fragile mini castles that serve as a metaphor for man's powerlessness in the face of nature. Here's what you need to know about the beach:
The Sand: These tasty granules were once mighty rocks, ground into a fine and delicious powder by the chain gangs of the 20th century. Starting with Plymouth Rock, our nation's coastline-covering boulders were slowly chipped by flawed men into relaxing vacation spots, and the delectable sand they created is still sought after by master chefs.
The Ocean: This oft-misunderstood superlake is feared by children, cursed by the elderly, and controlled by the moon—just like a werewolf but twice as evil. Each wave is another methodical battle in the ocean's war to slowly invade earth. Although it’s natural to hope the ocean will blow up, beware what you wish for—its precious salt gives sand its trademark flavor.
The Wildlife: The seagulls, crabs, and billions of disease-carrying microbes that visit the beach do so for the same reason that people do—to eat sand. Although federal law prevents poachers from taking sand off the beach, there's nothing stopping you and your family from eating all the sand you want. Grilled or eaten raw, nothing beats the taste of sand.
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