The diaries of Lewis and Clark are filled with cantankerous laments about having to tour the wilderness by foot and the startling lack of trailside fast-food options. Equip yourself with a discoverer's eyes and a Robocop's wheels with today's deal: for $49, you get your choice of a two-hour Segway tour with We Love Tourists (a $150 value). Roll along with either the Downtown San Diego Tour, which meets on West G Street, or the La Jolla Tour, which meets on Pearl Street. This Groupon is not valid for the Coronado Tour.
Seamlessly merge with the machine on a user-friendly Segway designed to balance your body while you enjoy the ride. Roll through downtown San Diego in a harbor-side quartet of four riders or less, ensuring each wheeled human can form a lifelong bond with the guide. Each fearless leader zips the group through the harbor, Balboa Park, and the Gaslamp District, peppering in humor and history in a blend unseen since the Magna Carta on ice. During the La Jolla Tour, hang ten on your Segway just like a truly ninjatic turtle as you stroll the coastline's happening surf spots and nearby elegant properties. As you robo-roll across the beach walk, kindly wave to passing land walkers to make sure you are welcomed back to civilian life come tour's end.
Even though We Love Tourists is cryptic about its admirations for tourists, the company proudly declares its love for people of all permanent mailing addresses. The friendly guides invite curious San Diegans to better know their hometown or prepare for visiting relatives, while furthering their quest for a college degree in being president of the city. Tours leave in the morning, afternoon, and evening, with early-morning tours starting at 6:30 a.m. and the latest sunset tour departing two hours prior to sunset. We Love Tourists recommends customers book two weeks in advance for weekends and three weeks in advance for holiday weekends. The company requires helmets and provides them to customers, or customers can bring their own. All participants should be able to stand comfortably for at least two hours.
Groupon Says
The Groupon Guide to: Adult Education
Even if you're older than society's agreed-upon college age, there's no reason not to broaden your horizons and learn more about the subjects that interest you. Don't waste time in a classroom, though—just follow these handy tips to become an expert in your chosen field:
- Anthropology: Spend a year living with one of the thousands of undiscovered tribes of the Amazon. Make sure to bring a DVD player because a lot of what the tribesmen will be doing, such as hunting for food or having a unique culture, will be boring.
- Microwave Repair: To fix a microwave, you must understand the microwave. Crawl inside yours and take a nap.
- Architecture: Learn by doing—why not design and build the home of your dreams, which is just like your childhood bedroom but with a constantly shifting layout and all your ex-girlfriends are there riding pumas and you try to turn off the lights but you can't and your parents are there, too, and they're fighting, fighting like they always used to, and then the house turns into your office but it's not really your office, it's more like a spaceship but your boss is there.
- Medicine: "Professional" doctors attend eight years of school before being granted their solid-gold graduation scalpel, but you can make your own doctoring kit out of rubber bands (useful for holding broken bones together), scotch tape (to reinforce the rubber bands), leeches (obvious), and powdered silver (to sprinkle on and heal all other maladies).
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