Faces, like potatoes, must be scrubbed and buffed to clear away excess dirt, remove dry skin, and prevent the emergence of extra eyes. Buff away unsightly blemishes with today’s Groupon to Cinta Aveda Institute. Choose between the following options:
For $29, you get a facial and eye treatment (a $62 total value). This complete treatment includes:
- Any facial offered at the spa (up to a $50 value)
- 15-minute revitalizing eye treatment (a $12 value)
For $69, you get any three facials offered at the spa (up to a $150 value).
Under the watchful eyes of licensed instructors, Cinta Aveda Institute's student aestheticians pamper pores with natural Aveda products gathered from sustainable resources. A one-hour botanical skin resurfacing facial helps smooth away fine lines and halt recurring outbreaks of Braille passages from The Bell Jar under the cheekbones. The 90-minute self-renewal facial treats feet, arms, and hands to luxurious massages and restores skin to its former glory with steam, mask, moisturizer, and minimakeup application. During the revitalizing eye treatment, antioxidants aim to deflate puffiness around ocular orbs and diminish the dark circles left after too many nights staring at glowing screens or directly into the tube full of fireflies that lights them. Services may take longer than typical spa facials, but patrons in a rush can request a more experienced, speedier student.
Groupon Says
The Groupon Guide to: What Makes a TV?
Enjoying television is as patriotic as knitting an apple pie or eating American flags. Here's a look at some of the components that make up these high-tech picture boxes:
• Glass: A high-end TV has a glass screen that when turned off (not recommended) will reflect your image. When turned on, it will reflect how awesome TV is.
• Cathode Ray Tube: No longer needed for modern TVs to work, but manufacturers still put one in every set just for old times' sake.
• Gold: TV signals, like men's hearts, are lustily attracted to gold, causing them to fly out of the sky into the gold brick in the back of every TV.
• A Couple of Horse Bones: 'Cause why not, right?
• Wires: They hook up to the wired helmets that all the actors wear to beam their acting into your TV.
• An Eternal Flame: To honor the former TV stars who have died.
• Tiny Fire Extinguisher: In case the eternal flame gets out of control.
• IBM PetaFlop SuperComputer: Guesses when you want to change the channel, lower the volume, etc., all to cover up the fact that the remote control doesn't do anything.
• Martin Sheen: He's gotta live somewhere.
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