Due to gravity, non-aquatic animals are limited to a single-dimensional plane of movement, with the exception of birds and monkeys who have learned to burrow. Watch animals float up the z-axis with today's Groupon: for $34, you get a 90-minute California Coast and Tributaries Eco Tour for two from San Francisco Whale Tours (a $68 value). Tours leave daily at 3:30 p.m. from Pier 39.
San Francisco Whale Tours demonstrates the beauty and diversity of the Bay’s bustling ecosystem with regular nature tours that trawl the coast. After up to 49 passengers board their eco-friendly catamaran, the Kitty Kat, the captain zips off into the water to the cries of waterfowl and foghorns. As noses tingle in the salty ocean air, passionate naturalists spout streams of information, fortifying brains with knowledge and expertly catching all questions hurled at their heads. Gaggles of harbor seals and sea lions may be seen gossiping out on rocky outcroppings, and dolphins demonstrate their aquatic gymnastics and best knock-knock jokes. As human eyes stretch to absorb views of the Golden Gate Bridge, Angel Island, and Alcatraz, cormorants, pelicans, and gulls swoop down and snatch lunch from the glistening ocean. San Francisco Whale Tours helpfully provides a checklist for spectators to record their wildlife sightings and prove pet theories that the Loch Ness monster relocated to warmer waters.
The Kitty Kat catamaran ferries its curious passengers in style with a sun deck and enclosed cabin, and its low wake and gentle underwater noise make it a model marine houseguest. Aiding the crusade to preserve whale populations, San Francisco Whale Tours donates a portion of profits to the Sea Shepherd Conservation Society.
Groupon Says
The Groupon Guide to: Very Special Episodes
Though critics agree that all television is special, once every few years a popular television program will use its reach to educate an audience on a serious issue. Here's a guide to crafting your own very special episode:
• Choose a serious issue to be discussed. If you're not sure if your issue is serious enough, try bringing it up at Thanksgiving. If your chosen topic is suitable, it will ruin everything.
• Make sure to swap your usual incidental music with much sadder music. This will let the audience know that they should cry instead of laugh and eat one piece of popcorn at a time respectfully, instead of shoveling it in via carefree handfuls.
• If your show features a Screech, he should sit this one out entirely.
• At the end of the episode, actors must reveal their own name directly into the camera. This way, viewers know that the issue being discussed is very real, even though Carl Winslow is just a 19-year-old gymnast in a Carl Winslow suit.
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