The deal is on!
Stealing from a neighbor's garden is an easy method of obtaining fresh produce, until you realize that the Secret Service has been watching you since you first set foot on White House property. Get the goods without facing jail time with today's Groupon: for $25, you get a box of fresh produce delivered to you from The Boxed Farm Company (a $50 value). Delivery is valid for locations within select zip codes in San Jose, Sunnyvale, Santa Clara, Santa Cruz, Los Gatos, Campbell, Cupertino, Monterey, Mountain View, Saratoga, and other surrounding areas—search here to see if your zip code is a covered delivery area.
The Boxed Farm brings fresh, local, and organic fruits and vegetables, dried goods, and more to the doorsteps and stargates of San Jose–area residents. Sample the organic output of The Boxed Farm's partners in the farming community with a small-sized Red Barn fresh-produce box containing 10–12 items, varying by season. Unlike reruns and doppelgangers, The Boxed Farm's produce bins are never the same. Currently, the satchel of succulence contains beets, three zucchini, celery, cilantro, cabbage, green leaf lettuce, carrots, a pound of tomatoes, two apples, two oranges, and a half-dozen cage-free eggs—a cornucopia of items ideal for eating healthy or throwing at bombing comedians.
Groupon purchasers have the option to upgrade to a larger-sized box, with additional costs applying; they cannot upgrade to a customized box, however. Orders, like birthday wishes or orders at the drive-thru, take about a week to process. Check the schedule for your area's delivery date, and prepare the silo of your stomach for more natural nourishment with the helpful harvest of The Boxed Farm Company.
Groupon Says
Our Enemy Earth
Those who embrace organic products have clearly chosen a side in the ongoing war between humanity and our life-destroying nemesis, Planet Earth. Consider this—has any plant, animal, hybrid plantimal, or non-petrified person unfortunate enough to live on Earth ever not died? No, every single living thing that comes in contact with the deleterious planet dies, while no one has ever died on the surface of the moon or Jupiter.
If a product killed every person that used it, we would take it off the market, but meanwhile, we allow Planet Earth to continue orbiting as it slowly picks us off. Only by poisoning our rivers, throwing our trees off of cliffs, and filling volcanoes with glass can we send a clear message to our planet that we are not going to take it anymore. If you decide to keep using organic products, you are sending the opposite message—that you hope the Earth stays around long enough to torment your grandchildren.
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