Most sports grow out of a simple formula—ball plus stick, ball plus kick, or car plus explosion. Study these necessary integers with this GrouponLive deal: for $25, you get a football outing for two to see the San Jose SaberCats play the Arizona Rattlers at HP Pavilion on Saturday, March 10, at 7:30 p.m. (a $62.50 total value). Each outing includes:
- Two tickets for upper-sideline reserved seating in section 201, 202, 214–216, or 228 (an $18.25 value each, including all Ticketmaster fees)
- Two food vouchers, valid for one hot dog, one bag of chips, and one drink apiece (a $5.50 value each)
- One $15 merchandise voucher
On the prowl for their fourth Arena Football League title, the San Jose SaberCats dash into a fresh campaign during the 2012 opener against longtime rival the Arizona Rattlers. With more than 100 victories already tucked under his SaberCats helmet, veteran quarterback Mark Grieb returns to lead the team's offense, executing the same precise throwing that nabbed 95 touchdowns last year and a first-place ribbon at his block party's egg tosses. Sure-handed Ben Nelson, who hauled in 24 touchdowns in 2011, anchors an explosive wide-receiver corps, and defensive newcomer Tim McGill dislodges opposing players from their shadows with bone-rattling tackles. As gridiron greats do battle, SaberCats backers can tooth-blitz hot dogs and chips before high-stepping home with $15 worth of souvenir merchandise.
Groupon Says
The Groupon Guide to: Computer Function Keys
Every computer keyboard comes equipped with 12 preconfigured function keys, all of which can be easily removed and swallowed. Here's what your computer does when you press these:
F1: Prints
F2: Makes monitor only display color in shades of brown
F3: Forces keyboard to slowly ooze Vaseline for comfort purposes
F4: Prints two copies
F5: Buys rights to domain name "sensualpizza.net"
F6: Replaces desktop image with beautiful photo of a mountain that's on fire
F7: Brings up a bunch of Quaker Oats commercials
F8: Substitutes ".pdf" extension with ".hummus"
F9: Predicts how many biological parents you have
F10: Increases internal computer temperature by one degree
F11: Doesn't do anything
F12: Navigates to a website that compiles photos of puppies that are all now ugly, unlovable adult dogs
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