Like choosing paint swatches with an impatient spouse, teeth whitening replaces pale pistachio, bavarian cream, and summer peach with simple buckets of white. Simplify your shades with today’s Groupon: for $29, you get a home teeth-whitening kit from Premium Home Whitening (a $158 value).
Premium Home Whitening's kits take trips to the dentist out of smile-brightening equations with FDA-approved gels blanching choppers up to five shades. After a quick brush and floss, patrons drop their mold-and-bite trays into heated water until the plastic becomes as pliable as the lasagna noodles floating beneath them. Ductile tooth helmets press against the upper and lower ridges, custom molding to enamel outlines. After a conservative squirting of USA-made carbamide-peroxide gel, patients insert their impressions into the mouth while clutching the micro LED light between their lips. Sessions last about 30–60 minutes, depending on tooth tolerance, and should take place once or twice daily while watching TV, reading a book, or challenging the cat to competitive staring contests. Gel supplies furnish about seven to nine treatments.
Groupon Says
The Groupon Guide to: Identifying Planets
Identifying the planets of the solar system can be difficult, even with a telescope and several reference tattoos inspired by Roman mythology. What are some key indicators that will help you identify famous planets?
Is the planet a red planet? The planet is most likely Mars, best known by its nickname, The Planet Most Often Referred to as "The Red Planet." Mars is also identifiable by its unusual structures, including a mountain shaped like a human face, thousands of craters shaped like dinosaur footprints, and a looping canyon that seems to spell "No signs of life, sorry" in cursive.
Is the planet encircled by beautiful rings? This planet is most likely Jupiter. After being struck by an asteroid the size of the Pacific Ocean, much of Jupiter's fertile landmass entered its atmosphere as debris but was retained as a ring by its powerful gravity. Today, this ring protects Jupiter from solar radiation and many of our daily test missiles.
Is it the planet you're currently standing on? This planet is most likely Earth. If you definitely know this not to be the case, please contact the government of Earth immediately with a handwritten letter of surrender in Earth's official language—artfully arranged bars of gold to serve as paperweights on blueprints for cool laser guns.
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