Prior to dental technology, humans were forced to shine their teeth with fleets of flea-driven miniature zambonis. Follow a more elegant brightening strategy with today's Groupon: for $39, you get an at-home teeth-whitening kit from Elite Brights online (a $299 value). This Groupon includes tax and shipping.
Elite Brights’ at-home advanced teeth-whitening kit lets users buff molars and blanch incisors without swapping plush recliners for dentist chairs. After a routine tooth brushing, flossing, and fang sharpening, customers apply the kit’s pale-making gel to a plastic whitening tray. They then install the tray securely in the mouth and fit an LED light against the front teeth to activate the gel’s hydrogen peroxide cleaning agent, brightening chompers without harming preexisting dental fixtures, such as permanent harmonicas. The kit comes with enough gel for 2–5 whitening treatments, allowing clients to spread their dental purification over time.
THE PATIENT AND ANY OTHER PERSON RESPONSIBLE FOR PAYMENT HAS A RIGHT TO REFUSE TO PAY, CANCEL PAYMENT, OR BE REIMBURSED FOR PAYMENT FOR ANY OTHER SERVICE, EXAMINATION, OR TREATMENT THAT IS PERFORMED AS A RESULT OF AND WITHIN 72 HOURS OF RESPONDING TO THE ADVERTISEMENT FOR THE FREE, DISCOUNTED FEE, OR REDUCED FEE SERVICE, EXAMINATION, OR TREATMENT.
Groupon Says
The Groupon Guide to: What Makes a TV?
Enjoying television is as patriotic as knitting an apple pie or eating American flags. Here's a look at some of the components that make up these high-tech picture boxes:
• Glass: A high-end TV has a glass screen that when turned off (not recommended) will reflect your image. When turned on, it will reflect how awesome TV is.
• Cathode Ray Tube: No longer needed for modern TVs to work, but manufacturers still put one in every set just for old times' sake.
• Gold: TV signals, like men's hearts, are lustily attracted to gold, causing them to fly out of the sky into the gold brick in the back of every TV.
• A Couple of Horse Bones: 'Cause why not, right?
• Wires: They hook up to the wired helmets that all the actors wear to beam their acting into your TV.
• An Eternal Flame: To honor the former TV stars who have died.
• Tiny Fire Extinguisher: In case the eternal flame gets out of control.
• IBM PetaFlop SuperComputer: Guesses when you want to change the channel, lower the volume, etc., all to cover up the fact that the remote control doesn't do anything.
• Martin Sheen: He's gotta live somewhere.
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