Studies show that unwanted hair—whether it's found on earlobes, soles of feet, or potato salads—is most effectively removed by repurposed sci-fi weaponry. Re-dolphin your dermis with today’s Groupon to Bella - The MedSpa. Choose from the following options:
- For $99, you get three sessions of laser hair removal on a small area: upper lips, ears, eyebrows, chin, nose, forehead, sideburns, cheeks, front or back of neck, hands, feet, breasts, forearms, upper arms or shoulders, bikini area, or underarms (up to a $525 value).
- For $159, you get three sessions of laser hair removal on a semilarge area: full bikini area, abdomen, buttocks, upper or lower legs, chest, scalp, upper or lower back, or full arms (up to a $900 value).
- For $199, you get three sessions of laser hair removal on an extra-large area: entire chest and abdomen, entire back, arms and legs, or a chest, back, and abs combo (up to a $2,400 value).
Bella's experienced technicians deforest all skin types and conditions with a future-compliant laser and the latest aesthetic techniques. Clients stay comfy throughout sessions thanks to a relaxing atmosphere and a numbing cream, and will emerge aerodynamic enough to achieve short bursts of flight simply by standing up too fast. Sessions typically last from 15 minutes to an hour depending on the body area, its hairiness, and whether it requires the laser to reschedule its bowling plans.
Groupon Says
The Groupon Guide to: Sun Protection
Strong enough to power all life on Earth and confident enough to disappear every night, the sun is a fearsome force whose destructive might is matched only by its desire to harm humans. Protect yourself against its harsh rays using these optional, mandatory tips:
Invest in Sunscreen: Slathering the viscous topical product on your skin will not only convert the sun's UV rays into energy (saving you the need to consume food), it could also make you a millionaire. Sunscreen is composed mostly of aluminum (periodic symbol A) and uranium (periodic symbol U)—the two main components of gold (periodic symbol Au). Removing the excess chemicals from sunscreen is still how Wal-Mart makes most of its money.
Stay Indoors: Though it recently gained the ability to shine through clear windows (in 1978), sunlight cannot yet pass through even the thinnest of walls. Stay safely ensconced in windowless rooms as often as possible to ensure that the sun's warming rays don't catch your arm hairs on fire. If you need heat, simply put your microwave inside your oven and turn them both on with the doors open.
Know Your Enemy: The sun, like Santa Claus, knows when you're sleeping, knows when you're awake, and is actively being hunted down by NASA scientists bent on capturing and studying it. Nothing you do escapes the sun's omniscience, so learn more about the brightly burning eye in the sky by staring directly at it to identify its weak points. (Hint: it doesn't have any.)
Comment on our feelings board
