The game of squash is the physical manifestation of karma, as all badly hit balls instantly come speeding back at the offender. Give opponents what’s coming to them with today’s Groupon: for $45, you get a two-month trial membership to Madison Squash Workshop (a $180 value).
Madison Squash Workshop provides a four-walled refuge to the racket-loving Wisconsin denizens. The four glass-backed courts conform to international regulation standards, forcing non-members into the seedy underworld of black-market squash played in dark alleyways and utility closets. Fans can watch squeaky-soled action from the lounge area behind the courts, enjoying the free WiFi and wide-screen TV in between goggled ball bouts. Post-match, athletes can recoup in the nicely kept changing rooms or seek out one of the two certified teaching professionals for help with back swings. Each membership comes complete with automatic access for players’ spouses and their offspring younger than 18, allowing them to settle family feuds on the court. Madison Squash Workshop is open 6 a.m.–10 p.m. every day, and it offers added benefits such as leagues and professional and amateur events each year.
Groupon Says
The Groupon Guide to: Getting Motivated
Whether you dream of climbing Mount Everest or eating Mount Everest, you need to stay motivated in order to make your dreams a reality. Here's how you can find the motivation you need:
- Set a realistic goal. If becoming president of the United States isn't possible, maybe you can become the president of your own imagination—or the imaginations of those around you.
- Stop procrastinating and start uncrastinating. Like a baby learning to run, taking the first step is the hardest part, but like that baby finding a pile of lottery tickets, it's also the most rewarding.
- Write down the steps necessary to achieve your goal on a piece of paper, then soak the paper in milk and feed it to stray birds. As you complete the steps, the birds will begin obeying you.
- Simulate the sweet smell of success by borrowing some loose hair from the barber college, spritzing it with lime juice, and baking it at 350 degrees for an hour. The scent will cause your blood to run at double-speed.
- Stay focused on your goal by creating a lifelike robot version of yourself to live out the nonambitious parts of your life. When you've achieved your goal, marry the robot.
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