Like octopi, tattoos contain ink, are typically found among sailors, and can frighten young children in swimming pools. Protect tots from scary tats with today's Groupon: for $39, you get tattoo removal for up to four square inches at Unwanted Ink in Surrey (up to a $150 value).
Unwanted Ink's Nurse Debbie adeptly comforts and guides clients through the often-difficult process of tattoo removal as experienced technicians rid up to four square inches of skin of any undesirable ink. Using an energy-efficient Cynosure laser tailored to the process of tattoo removal, technicians singe away most colours in the spectrum—excluding greens—to erase designs faster than the interior decorator for a supervillian's top-secret lair. A cooling machine soothes epidermis in the targeted area during each step of the removal. Following treatment, Nurse Debbie bestows all supplies necessary to facilitate skin recovery in the first three days, such as bandages, tape, and wrap, as well as necessary instructions to prevent scarring. Though one session might not be enough to rid skin of all lines, shading, and games of tic-tac-toe, Unwanted Ink grants 10 per cent off each additional session until erasure is complete.
Groupon Says
The Groupon Guide to: the Police Exam
Let’s face it. Not just anyone can serve or protect. As evidence of this fact, take a look at these excerpted questions from the police exam that you must first ace in order to become an officer of the law:
13. Which of the following does the standard police cruiser NOT come equipped with?
A. Spin lights
B. Heated seats
C. Quick 'n' Ready® Gun Holders
D. A fake criminal (complete with facial scar) for the back seat to intimidate the real criminals who sit next to it
57. Sarge says you have to take this drug pusher in by the book. You:
A. Set up a perimeter around his/her domicile
B. Go to the perp’s known hangouts, hangabouts
C. Contact and question family members
D. Say “Sorry, Chief, I gotta do this my way,” and then jump your motorcycle directly off the ramp and into the drug-making factory
137. You are a sketch artist but are having a hard time picturing the perp. You:
A. Draw a cowboy hat to cover his hair
B. Draw a sleep mask over his eyes
C. Draw him peeking out from behind a wall since most criminals do that and noses are hard to draw
D. All of the above
179. The Crown Attorney doesn’t like the job you did cataloguing the evidence. You say:
A. “Stay off my back."
B. “Do you even remember what it was like to be a cop?”
C. “Just do your job and nail this scumbag.”
D. Trick question. You plan on having a secret relationship with the Crown Attorney.
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