Though man has evolved beyond using sticks to make a fire, he still has to forage for food in unsuspecting children's backpacks. Enjoy a meal without sneaking around with today's Groupon: for $45, you get delivery of five healthy meals from Immaculate Cuisine (a $90 value including delivery). This Groupon is valid for either pick-up or delivery if you live in the District of Columbia or the following Maryland areas: Baltimore City and County, Prince George County, Montgomery County, Howard County, and Hartford County.
While moonlighting as a slick catering company, Immaculate Cuisine provides nutritious, delectable meals to enjoy within the comfort of a home or undersea laboratory. On-the-go eaters desiring at-home dining can simply peruse the monthly meal-order form and select which week they'll be eating food. The five shining, eager meals will arrive prepackaged in microwavable containers and freshly starched pinafores, ready to be popped in the fridge or freezer for later or, ideally, consumed in a single sitting in preparation for hibernating during July. Menus include diverse fare ranging from upscale comfort food to delicious ethnic cuisine. One upcoming line-up features a crab-cake sandwich on a sweet-potato roll with sweet-potato fries; shrimp and creamy herb grits with tomato and cucumber salad; honey chicken and waffles; Asian pesto soba noodles with tofu, vegetables, and a side salad; and roasted lemon chicken with yellow rice and roasted broccoli.
Immaculate Cuisine fashions all of its menu items from scratch using original recipes and the freshest possible ingredients, some of which are yet twinkles in their parents' stamens. For devoted herbivores, vegan and vegetarian menus can be prepared, and jetsetters' orders can be vacuum packaged for a quick jaunt to the unincorporated area in Iowa.
Groupon Says
Don't Bother Cooking
Cooking your own food is by far the least practical approach to dealing with hunger. It's time consuming, it might make your clothes dirty, and without the Colonel's 11 secret herbs and spices, your food is guaranteed to taste like the air inside a tennis ball. Here are some superior methods for getting the nutrients you need:
Foraging: Food, unlike money or new organs, actually grows on trees! Fruits, vegetables, honey, and tuna can all be found growing naturally in our country's many public orchards. Mother Nature always provides for those who take good care of her, so as you shoelessly roam the land selling copies of your sequel to the Constitution, be sure to bury all your refuse as an offering of thanks to her.
Tame Your Hunger: "Hunger" is merely a feeling, not a medical state, that your body uses to tempt you into drinking that jar of honey-mustard sauce. Use meditation to control your hunger pangs. You'll eat less, and you can get any nutrients your body "needs" to "stay alive" by licking a variety of wild rocks.
Join the Raw-Food Movement: Save the time you've been wasting on warming up your pit of hot cooking sand by eating raw foods! Carrots, bananas, and all meats are nutritious and natural foods that require no cooking whatsoever. Bonus tip: Glass marbles are the M&Ms of raw food. Outstanding!
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