From Our Editors
The expert chopper doctors at The Art of Dentistry restore carnassial sheen in a friendly office replete with the latest dental technology. For take-home treatments, discolored mouth knives are first subjected to a careful molding to tailor bleaching trays to the upper and lower jaws, ensuring they fit comfortably in your mouth and uncomfortably in the mouth of covetous strangers. Three included syringes grant patients the ability to give repeat boosts to the pearlescent brilliance emanating from their neck oysters. Alternately, Groupon customers can erase a lifetime of Cray-Pas gnawing with the in-office BriteSmile treatment, which can whiten gum jewels an average of nine shades. A special blue light activates the whitening gel, which is reapplied three times during the treatment for optimal smile resolution and playback in HD-only bathroom mirrors. Between applications, patients can busy themselves watching DVDs or imagining how their newly glittering grin will strike fear into the hearts of romantic rivals and the occasional romantic cube steak.