Many people don’t get to spend enough time their moms, which is why Groupon is offering an exclusive Mother’s Day gifting opportunity that will leave the woman who raised you feeling like you never left. Through Groupon, SWIGRO, a 3D printing manufacturer in based in Auburn, Ala., and official distributors of the BigRep ONE the largest 3D printer on the market, is offering one person the chance to create a “3D You” version of themselves for Mom for $30,000. Once your 3D You is delivered, Mom will be able to take you along for all of her favorite activities and experiences such as getting a pedicure, going to lunch or attending a Broadway musical.
We’re thrilled to offer one person the opportunity to give Mom what she loves most: endless quality time with her children. With a 3D You, Mom will always have your undivided attention and support even when you can’t be there.”
The entire 3D You Mother’s Day package entails:
Life-size, painted 3D You
Travel to establish framework and blueprint for 3D manufacturing (up to $2,500)
Shipping and handling to anywhere in the continental United States
Other suggested activities for you and your 3D You:
Groupon plans on hiring (but not really hiring) someone to do the easiest job in the world*. The job (that’s not actually a job) that we’ll hire for (not hire at all), requires this new employee (who is not employed by Groupon) to do nothing. Additionally that job (not a job) pays $100,000. Clear and simple.
“Wait, what?” said Vic Galon, Groupon’s Head of Workforce Leverage and Productivity.
Could that person be you? Yes, maybe or not at all. According to Human Resources (they have nothing to do with this) there’s a pretty simple entry method in place — like going to this landing page and then “purchasing a Groupon”** — that you’re probably already doing anyway. In fact, that’s exactly the way to enter. The application (rather, steps on buying Groupons) can be found HERE.
Go to the landing page. Buy a Groupon**. Get entered to win. Anticipate victory (or disappointment). We’re not really allowed to say, but this video should help illustrate where we’re going with this.
Groupon Launches Petition Calling for an End to the Deplorable 33% Disparity Between Father’s and Mother’s Day Gifts
In an effort to fix the corrupt and unfair system that devalues Dad, Groupon takes a firm, public stance for equal gifting. Period.
In honor of Father’s Day this coming Sunday, Groupon has launched a petition calling for an end to the 33 percent gift gap due to people spending less on Dad for Father’s Day than they do on Mom for Mother’s Day. According to the National Retail Federation, shoppers spend an average of $172.63 on Mother’s Day, while Dad only gets $115.572 for Father’s Day––a difference of $57.06 or 33 percent less.
“Father’s Day should never, ever be merely an afterthought, and that’s precisely why we’ve decided to take a stand, providing people with the resources they need to make this movement a reality” “Father’s Day should never, ever be merely an afterthought, and that’s precisely why we’ve decided to take a stand, providing people with the resources they need to make this movement a reality,” said John Referlockel, fairness-expert-in-residence, Groupon. “After all, Dad let you do what you wanted even when Mom said no, chased away your prom date and walked you down the aisle. He’s definitely worth an additional $60.”
In an effort to help eliminate the Dad and Mom gap, Groupon is offering a number of unbeatable gifts that will leave you with no excuse not to treat both parents equally.
Groupon Will Send the Perfect Child in Your Place for $25,000
Groupon has last-minute Mother’s Day gifting options for every mom, even if you’re celebrating from afar or you’ve simply forgotten to buy a present
Groupon recognizes that it’s difficult for everyone to make it home for Mother’s Day, thus missing out on the irreplaceable, unquantifiable time spent with Mom and the rest of the family. As a result, Groupon is offering the ultimate experience called ”A Mother’s Love is Priceless” where for just $25,000 a perfect child stand-in, who is really a twenty-six-year-old adult male, will travel to Mom and spend the day with her. Mr. Perfect, Johnny Cadillac, is a highly trained Groupon employee who will hang out with Mom and do all of the things that she has always lovingly nagged you to do such as eat five full servings of vegetables (at once), rinse dishes before placing them in the dishwasher, wear pants and even be nice to your sister.
Johnny Cadillac, the perfect child, will do all of the things that she has always lovingly nagged you to do such as eat five full servings of vegetables (at once), rinse dishes before placing them in the dishwasher, wear pants and even be nice to your sister.
“While you can’t really put a price tag on hanging out with Mom on Mother’s Day, we think we’ve found the next best solution,” said Johnny Cadillac, Groupon Son. “I’m incredibly skilled at all of the things Mom has always asked you to do––even though you and I both know they’re for your own good.”
The entire ”A Mother’s Love is Priceless” stand-in experience includes:
One Groupon employee to fill in for you with your mom on Mother’s Day
16 hours of enthusiastic obedience as your Groupon proxy dotes on your mother and completes common household chores
Airfare for your Groupon proxy to travel to your mother’s home (valid only in the continental U.S.)
A $5,000 shopping spree for Mom at her favorite local stores
A one-day stretch limo rental
A family photo
A catered, in-home family dinner for up to six people, including centerpieces, candelabras, linens and food
A short video clip of Johnny’s areas of expertise––complete with a mom testimonial––can be found here.
In addition to the ”A Mother’s Love is Priceless” experience, Groupon also has several free last-minute Mother’s Day gifting options, including:
Give Mom a Break with The Chore Wheel – This Mother’s Day, give Mom the break she deserves by leaving any and all labor or upkeep to whomever is close by and also not Mom. Groupon customers receive a two-part chore wheel with customizable chore fields and completely un-customizable fields for assigning a worker to each task. Some assembly is required, specifically by any person other than Mom.
One Official Timeout for Mom – When presented with a task, great or small, Mothers can just present their Official Timeout for a reprieve from all responsibilities. While a great item to use on Mother’s Day, the Official Timeout has no expiration date and can be reused any time Mom needs some me-time.
Outstanding Achievement in Human Creation Award – On a biological level, Mothers are the genesis and building blocks for all scientific discoveries. In the argument of “Which came first, the Mother or the scientist?” Moms are the clear answer. Recognize your Mother’s advancements in the fields of biology and human sciences with this totally real and really scientific prize. Nominees receive a voucher that doubles as a custom certificate heaping deserved praise on mothers for their breakthroughs in creating human life.
The Mom-A-Phone – Groupon’s new innovation, The Mom-A-Phone, helps Moms make sure their message is heard while cutting down on avoidable punishments for neglected chores. The conical amplification system fits comfortably in front of the mouth, turning up the volume on mothers’ voices so instructions can fight through tiny ears clogged by sound-dampening ossicles, ensuring that requests will never be missed again. Moms delight in being heard, and kids feel relief after finally having direction in their lives.
Today we proudly announce the debut of Grøüber––a revolutionary new car service with feline drivers that provides people with affordable transportation to their Groupon deals. Using cars with GPS-guided red lasers we signal the correct route to the four-legged kitty captain behind the wheel to make your trip as quick and efficient as possible. And when funds are running low, Grøüber riders save more than just a whisker of cash through fares that only decrease when demand surges.
“We’ve yet to see anyone successfully tackle the transportation-for-hire market, and launching our own service made purrfect sense for Groupon because we have tens of millions of customers looking to redeem deals without having to claw their way through traffic,” said Barnicus Stapleton, feline fleet commander and director of haulage and wellness, Groupon. “And best of all, you can be assured of a peaceful ride because everyone knows that cats have complete indifference towards people.”
How does it work?
Step 1: Request a car through the Grøüber mobile app after purchasing your Groupon deal.
Step 2: Enjoy a quiet, peaceful ride while your Chauffeur-y Friend stays relentlessly focused on the laser ahead, guiding you to your chosen deal destination.
Step 3: That’s it — just thank your adorable driver and be on your way! The trip and driver gratuity are automatically paid for via your Grøüber mobile app. (Additional Catnip tips are accepted only in Colorado and Washington at this time.)
Grøüber will eventually be available in every major U.S. market, and riders can visit www.groupon.com/grouber to download the Grøüber mobile app.
We’re sure fives of people watched the Stossel thing. Had they asked, this is what we’d have said.
It’s disheartening that someone would resort to manipulating the facts to spin up a story that is 100% without merit just to discredit the mayor. Groupon was one of more than 250 companies that applied for and received a tax credit from Governor Quinn and the state of Illinois in 2011. Eric Lefkofsky was a noted supporter of Governor Quinn’s opponent, Bruce Rauner. This grant had nothing to do with politics and had everything to do with creating jobs in the state of Illinois. To allege otherwise is inappropriate and irresponsible.
In response to the overwhelming outpour of Groupon’s signature green-themed celebrations the past few days, Groupon has issued a formal announcement of appreciation to the city of Chicago. Beginning on Saturday and through today, Chicagoans painted the entire city Groupon Green — from attire and beverages to turning the Chicago River into an emerald cascade and TWO parades.
“We are both honored and humbled that Chicago, the city we call home, has come together and presented such a heartwarming gesture,” said Barnicus Stapleton, Director of Green Initiatives at Groupon. “We’ve even heard rumors that it might become an annual celebration. Really, it’s just too much. You’re embarrassing us.”
Also, to commemorate the celebration, Groupon has announced that their official company plant is now a clover.
For the sixth straight year Groupon is open all 24 hours on Thanksgiving Day
Groupon is announcing that, for the sixth consecutive year, it’s remaining open for holiday shopping the entire day of Thanksgiving.
“As I mentioned last year, I’m not quite sure what’s different here,” said Groupon spokesperson, Barnicus Stapleton, Groupon’s Director of General Productivity. “Yes, this will be the sixth year running that we stay open the whole day — though we’re a website, so technically we do this every day.”
By being open on Thanksgiving Day, and also every other day of the year, Groupon hopes to inspire its customers to check Groupon first for great gift ideas instead of climbing in a car and driving to a crowded store full of people they don’t even know, especially if it’s starting to get kind of cold outside.
Groupon’s extensive internal data indicates that families that do their shopping from the couch — free of lines and that one guy from your daughter’s school who is always ahead of you in line and who you hate — save more than just dollars; they also save on tantrums, potential frostbite and/or sunstroke and the occasional trampling.
“Seriously, you people call me every year, and I keep telling you that nothing’s changed,” added Stapleton. “Completely shutting down the website and mobile apps for just one day would be an enormous undertaking and terrible for pretty much everyone involved.”
Groupon Customers can find thousands of great holiday deals on everything from the hottest toys, high-end apparel and great local experiences in the Groupon Holiday Shop.
Elite Deals Developed for Upscale Shoppers Showcase Status and Sophistication
Groupon today announced its newest line of deals for the discriminating shopper: the Elite Deal Series. The Groupon Elite Deal Series will be an ongoing collection of luxury items, featuring premium-plus pricing. Today the series launches with its first deal, $40 for $20 worth of Groupon Bucks. Purchasers will receive $20 in Groupon Bucks for the premium-plus price of $40.
“We’ve had many luxury items available for purchase on Groupon.com over the past five years,” said Joyce Lancastershire, Groupon’s Chief of Luxury, “including two-carat diamond rings, full wedding packages at a luxury hotel and high-end designer handbags. But all those items were sold at a huge discount and provided incredible savings. Groupon Elite Deals take upscale to new heights by offering the status and sophistication of paying premium-plus pricing.”
The first deal in the series, the $40 for $20 deal, will be available for a limited time. But the $20 in Groupon Bucks will be valid to use towards anything on Groupon.com.
President Alexander Hamilton on the $10 bill (Photo: Business Wire)
Commemorate a man historically powerful enough to be on money with $10 towards $40 on a local purchase
Starting tomorrow, Groupon will be kicking off Presidents Day weekend by giving customers 10 dollars off 40 dollars when they purchase a deal for any local business. The $10 bill, as everyone knows, features President Alexander Hamilton — undeniably one of our greatest presidents and most widely recognized for establishing the country’s financial system.
Beginning Saturday, Feb. 15 at 9 am CST, shoppers will be able to redeem this offer by using the promo code “10OFF40LOCAL”, which isn’t very catchy, but neither was President Hamilton’s famous saying, “nobody expects to trust his body overmuch after the age of fifty.”
President Hamilton is best known for the fiscal sensibilities that led him to author economic policies, establish a national bank and control taxes. Customers can honor our money-minded commander-in-chief and find deals by searching Groupon.com for local deals all through President’s Day weekend. Promo codes are limited, and more information can be found HERE.