The Groupon Guide to the "Quiet Period"

At the bottom of each Daily Groupon feature, users can find Groupon the Cat, slouching majestically across a cloud of pure wisdom. Groupon dispenses ancient truisms that still have relevance to our modern lives, as evidenced by today’s entry:

The “Quiet Period” is the time right before a company “goes public,” during which it is legally prohibited from saying anything to the press that may make the company look “good,” “successful,” or “not currently on fire.” During this sensitive time, it is the duty of the press to force the adolescent company through a series of brutal hazing rituals, designed to desensitize it to public criticism. This tough love helps the naively optimistic company to thicken its skin, atrophy its soul, and finally grow up into a real corporation. Here are some traditional hazing rituals you can use to torture companies in a quiet period:

  • Wait until the company is sleeping to smear scream-activated bees on its face. Lesson Learned: Don’t believe your company’s own “buzz.”
  • Photoshop the company’s logo to appear to be shaking hands with James Buchanan, America’s worst president. Lesson Learned: Everything you see or read about a company is true, if it’s on a computer.
  • Use the company’s cell phone to text a vote for the new M&M’s color to be a sickly ashen gray. Lesson Learned: Customers aren’t capable of making their own decisions.
  • Kick sand in the company’s face. Lesson Learned: If the company survives, it’s time to move on to sand’s close relative, powdered glass.
  • Write disparaging articles about the company. Lesson Learned: That’s what they get for trying to be a company.

Celebrating Grouponicus: The Adventurous Alternative to Holiday Gifting

During the holidays, many retailers offer promotions designed to cynically cash in on holiday imagery. At Groupon, we believe that the holidays – not spending money – are most important. That’s why instead of a holiday promotion, Groupon offers customers an entire holiday: Grouponicus.

Celebrating Grouponicus is simple! Followers purchase Groupons as gifts – giving their loved ones meals at restaurants, dazzling beauty treatments, helicopter rides, and more, all at 50-90% off. Customers can subscribe to receive Grouponicus emails, or buy directly from the Grouponicus gift store. Deals last 3-5 days, but Grouponicus lasts for five whole weeks online, and all year long in our hearts. Embracing Grouponicus is the adventurous alternative to holiday gifting, and like all good holidays, Grouponicus comes with a fun set of age-old traditions and rigid cosmological beliefs.

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Personalized Deals

The printing press. The steam engine. The personal computer. In the pantheon of revolutionary inventions, these once-impressive breakthroughs seem embarrassing in the wake of the most important, most momentous, and most important breakthrough ever broken through: Groupon Personalized Deals.

Launching today in six cities (Chicago, Los Angeles, New York City, San Francisco, San Jose, and Seattle), Personalized Deals represent a fundamental change to the way that Groupon works. Instead of a single daily deal across an entire city, Groupon subscribers will begin seeing a different deal personalized to their likes, dislikes, whittling ability, and number of pole-dancing classes needed to reach the medically advised minimum. [Login to Groupon](https://www.groupon.com/login) and click “My Profile” to enter your preferences so we know enough to send you deals that match your tastes, and grant ourselves power of attorney.

Like a baby, Personalized Deals will start out dumb, but like a baby dipped in some sort of mutating ooze, Personalized Deals will get smarter quickly. As Groupon gets to know you better, we’ll target your inbox with scarily accurate deals and scarily accurate hand-drawings of you. Soon, you’ll look back at the Groupon of today like the outdated steam engine of savings it is.

For somewhat useful details, [read our press release](http://www.groupon.com/pages/personalized-deals-launch). For a lot more, read this post about [why we decided to build this feature](https://www.groupon.com/blog/cities/why-we-built-personalized-deals).

Edit:  we’ve added a [Personalized Deals FAQ](https://www.groupon.com/blog/cities/personalized-deals-faq/) to answer some of the questions that are coming up a lot below.

Groupon Opens Silicon Valley Technology Office

**CHICAGO, IL** —Groupon has announced the opening of an office in Silicon Valley to gain better access to the Bay Area’s technology talent, with a focus on Groupon’s mobile- and business-intelligence practices.

The core of Groupon’s mobile team comes through the acquisition of mob.ly, a mobile-development firm led by former Yahoo! Senior Director of Product Management Mihir Shah and Yishai Lerner, former Director of Engineering at Carrier IQ. Groupon’s business-intelligence practice will be led by Chief Data Officer Mark Johnson, formerly Vice President of Software Engineering at Netflix.

“Now there is no excuse to not work for us,” said Groupon founder and CEO Andrew Mason. “And Chicago is still super cool. Did you know that we have the world’s largest water-filtration plant? Great city, can’t understand why people wouldn’t want to move here, but whatever—now we’re in the Valley too.”

To celebrate the grand opening of its new location, Groupon is offering a free medium coffee to all visitors this Tuesday, May 11. Said Mason, “Unlike our competitors, or those who would be / will be our competitors if we were in / when we enter the coffee business, we do not require you to bring your own cup.” Simply arrive at 524 Ramona Street in Palo Alto or the Penthouse at 211 Sutter Street in San Francisco between 9 a.m. and 5 p.m. and knock on the door to claim your free medium coffee.

Groupon is hiring. Visit http://www.groupon.com/jobs for more.

### About Groupon

Groupon features a daily deal on the best stuff to do, eat, see, and buy in major cities across the United States and in Canada, with plans to be in 100 cities in the United States, Canada, and Europe by the end of 2010. Groupon uses collective buying power to offer unbeatable prices and provide a win-win for businesses and consumers.

### About Formerly Mob.ly

Mob.ly launched Goodrec, the mobile recommendation service, in September 2008. They have built mobile applications for several leading brands, such as OpenTable and Yahoo!

CONTACT: Julie Anne Mossler / 312-242-2033
/ julie@groupon.com

Special role available bridging The Point with Groupon!

Description

[The Point](http://www.thepoint.com) launched in 2007 as a collective action platform based on the idea of conditional participation. Any user can create their campaign to do something as a group, and the group only acts if and when a predetermined “tipping point” is reached. The tipping point model gives participants the confidence that their time or money will only be called upon if enough people join with them to make a real difference.

In 2008, the founders of The Point applied the tipping point model to harness the collective power of consumers by launching [Groupon](http://www.groupon.com), the site you’re on right now. We get businesses to give our community of consumers enormous discounts by guaranteeing them a minimum number of new customers. Continue Reading

Groupon Launches ‘Groupöupon,’ Invitation-Only, Private Online Retailer (Press Release)

**CHICAGO** — Since its launch in November 2008, Groupon has successfully harnessed the collective buying power of millions of subscribers to offer unbeatable local deals. Now, in a surprising inversion of their model, they will shepherd the individual buying power of the elite few. Presenting [Groupöupon](http://www.groupoupon.com), an invitation-only, private sales site offering designer apparel and accessories to the consumer elite.
“We’ve always loved private sale sites, but felt that they weren’t delivering pure luxury,” says Groupon founder Andrew Mason. “By virtually eliminating utility from our products and selling them at increased prices, we have achieved the theoretical maximum in extravagance.” Continue Reading

2010: The Year of Re-Solutions

Every year since 1978, we here at Groupon have used New Years as the impetus to find solutions to address our several, numerous shortcomings. When these solutions fail, we try them again as REsolutions. Now, for the first time, Groupon wants to reward you for sticking to your resolutions. Groupon’s New Years Resolution week, December 28th – January 3rd, will feature deals to help you stick to your goals, like personal training sessions to help you get in shape, salon deals to give you a new look, and meal delivery programs to help you spend more time with your family and more time with meal delivery men.

“Wait, but I want $10 dollars,” you say – well Groupon’s Resolution week has got you covered. Purchase any two deals during that week and we’ll reward you with $10 in Groupon Bucks, the only private currency that can be used towards the purchase of any Groupon and is accepted as cash by helicopter pilots all over the United States.

In addition to making your own life better, Groupon is partnering with the Children’s Miracle Network to help our customers improve the lives of others, as well. Visitors to Groupon can donate to the Children’s Miracle Network through their city’s home page so that their donations stay local and do not help fund secret vampire cities, like Tucson, or Anchorage, where the yetis have firmly taken over. Let Groupon help you start 2010 off right with great deals, charitable donations, and free money.


New On Groupon: Tweets Around Town

Groupon exists for two reasons: to create serums that increase its employees’ heights and to give our subscribers all the motivation they need to go out and try something new in their city. Now that all Groupon employees are well over nine-and-half-feet tall, we’re happy to start providing even more local content from local writers who focus on what’s happening in their ‘hoods. We’re calling it “Tweets Around Town,” because all of our writers are tired.

We’ll be featuring Tweeters who write about experiences that can only be had in their hometown—dance parties, gallery openings, Bronson Pinchot impersonation conventions—right on the front page of Groupon. We’ve got a limited number of slots, so if that sounds like you, or you know someone who tweets about local events, [drop us a line](mailto:tweets@groupon.com). Groupon is always looking for new ways to expose our readers to dangerous amounts of local activities, because houses are boring and should be left as often as possible.

![d](http://www.groupon.com/images/groupon/tweets-around-town.jpg)

October's Photo Contest Winner

October Photo Contest Winner

With our monthly photo contest in full swing, we’re seeing some great examples of Groupons in action! This month, Danica Duensing caught our eye with this shot at [Madame Tussaud’s Wax Museum](http://www.madametussauds.com/) in Hollywood, CA with “Wolverine.”

Danica told us:

> I bought the Groupons for Madame Tussaud’s Wax Museum because my brother and sister-in-law were coming into town from Wisconsin. My boyfriend, me, my brother and sister-in-law went, and we had a great time! I’m glad Madame Tussaud’s decided to partner with Groupon, because now that we know how much fun the wax museum is, we’ll definitely be going back!

Danica won $100 in Groupon credit to spend on more exciting adventures. Send your entries to [pictures@groupon.com](mailto:pictures@groupon.com), and make sure to include the Groupon in your picture to be eligible!

We might not "get" modern art–

–but that doesn’t stop us from making our own. After this week’s visit to St. Louis’ own Contemporary Art Museum we felt inspired to start the Groupon Cafeteria Museum of Contemporary Mind-Blowing Statements About Society. The following exhibits are currently on display (no passes or vouchers):

  • Black and White Slow-Motion Film Loop of Girls in White Dresses Jump Roping Suggests Something Or Other About Innocence (8mm film)
  • Dennis Has a Lot of Opinions About Modern Gender Roles/Let’s Listen To Dennis For a While (Installation)
  • 1000 Paper Cranes Containing Desperate Pleas From Americans Kept in Secret Underwater Prisons (Paper, squid ink)
  • Hella Butts (Oil paint on canvas)
  • Perfectly Preserved Killer Whale Suspended In Blue-Raspberry Gelatin—Holy Hell, I Just Saw It Blink (Whale, gelatin, and whale-gelatin)