Our editorial department brings you yet another installment of “Behind the Deals” on this very Wednesday.
Groupon is testing the veracity of the old adage “You’ve got to spend money to make money” by spending a bunch of money and then seeing if it cytogenetically divides into new money. The company has an entire business-development department dedicated to finding new and creative ways to turn a profit. Their recent projects include:
* Burying a burlap sack filled with gold coins behind the office to see if it sprouts into a dollar tree
* Catching fish for a hundred men, teaching another hundred men how to fish, doing nothing for a control group of a hundred men, and then comparing their yearly salaries/amount of fish caught after six months
* Boosting worker productivity by giving every employee a high-tech cyber-typewriter called a “compute-ter”
* Introducing Super Groupons that charge double a product or service’s value instead of half
* By reading this sentence, from now on even just thinking about a Groupon is a legally binding agreement that you will purchase it. Thanks!