Groupon’s semiweekly Take Your Child to Work Day is a chance for kids to take a break from mind-hardening schoolwork and get a taste of what they’ll be doing when they take over their parents’ place on the Groupon assembly line. Here’s a guiding acrostic we give to the wee ones visiting Groupon headquarters for the first time:
Clean your hands. Groupon’s gears can’t get dirty.
Hide your flaws. Groupon wants only the best tots!
Ideas from kids? No thanks.
Listen to your elders: you’ll hear their bones making noises.
Direct your attention to the crated dog. He’s not for petting.
Redirect your attention to the hole the dog guards.
Exit the hole! Exit the hole!
Never think about what happened here.