Groupon Will Send the Perfect Child in Your Place for $25,000
Groupon has last-minute Mother’s Day gifting options for every mom, even if you’re celebrating from afar or you’ve simply forgotten to buy a present
Groupon recognizes that it’s difficult for everyone to make it home for Mother’s Day, thus missing out on the irreplaceable, unquantifiable time spent with Mom and the rest of the family. As a result, Groupon is offering the ultimate experience called ”A Mother’s Love is Priceless” where for just $25,000 a perfect child stand-in, who is really a twenty-six-year-old adult male, will travel to Mom and spend the day with her. Mr. Perfect, Johnny Cadillac, is a highly trained Groupon employee who will hang out with Mom and do all of the things that she has always lovingly nagged you to do such as eat five full servings of vegetables (at once), rinse dishes before placing them in the dishwasher, wear pants and even be nice to your sister.
Johnny Cadillac, the perfect child, will do all of the things that she has always lovingly nagged you to do such as eat five full servings of vegetables (at once), rinse dishes before placing them in the dishwasher, wear pants and even be nice to your sister.
“While you can’t really put a price tag on hanging out with Mom on Mother’s Day, we think we’ve found the next best solution,” said Johnny Cadillac, Groupon Son. “I’m incredibly skilled at all of the things Mom has always asked you to do––even though you and I both know they’re for your own good.”
The entire ”A Mother’s Love is Priceless” stand-in experience includes:
- One Groupon employee to fill in for you with your mom on Mother’s Day
- 16 hours of enthusiastic obedience as your Groupon proxy dotes on your mother and completes common household chores
- Airfare for your Groupon proxy to travel to your mother’s home (valid only in the continental U.S.)
- A $5,000 shopping spree for Mom at her favorite local stores
- A one-day stretch limo rental
- House-cleaning services
- A family photo
- A catered, in-home family dinner for up to six people, including centerpieces, candelabras, linens and food
A short video clip of Johnny’s areas of expertise––complete with a mom testimonial––can be found here.
In addition to the ”A Mother’s Love is Priceless” experience, Groupon also has several free last-minute Mother’s Day gifting options, including:
- Give Mom a Break with The Chore Wheel – This Mother’s Day, give Mom the break she deserves by leaving any and all labor or upkeep to whomever is close by and also not Mom. Groupon customers receive a two-part chore wheel with customizable chore fields and completely un-customizable fields for assigning a worker to each task. Some assembly is required, specifically by any person other than Mom.
- One Official Timeout for Mom – When presented with a task, great or small, Mothers can just present their Official Timeout for a reprieve from all responsibilities. While a great item to use on Mother’s Day, the Official Timeout has no expiration date and can be reused any time Mom needs some me-time.
- Outstanding Achievement in Human Creation Award – On a biological level, Mothers are the genesis and building blocks for all scientific discoveries. In the argument of “Which came first, the Mother or the scientist?” Moms are the clear answer. Recognize your Mother’s advancements in the fields of biology and human sciences with this totally real and really scientific prize. Nominees receive a voucher that doubles as a custom certificate heaping deserved praise on mothers for their breakthroughs in creating human life.
- The Mom-A-Phone – Groupon’s new innovation, The Mom-A-Phone, helps Moms make sure their message is heard while cutting down on avoidable punishments for neglected chores. The conical amplification system fits comfortably in front of the mouth, turning up the volume on mothers’ voices so instructions can fight through tiny ears clogged by sound-dampening ossicles, ensuring that requests will never be missed again. Moms delight in being heard, and kids feel relief after finally having direction in their lives.
View the complete Groupon Mother’s Day Gift Shop, and have a happy Mother’s Day!