Well hello dear! Ward, pick up, it's Wally calling all the way from State College! Oh Wally, it's been so long and we didn't know when we were ever going to hear from you again. You left your phone in an Uber? You're calling us from a grubby pay phone you found in the basement of your dorm? It's dark and rats are scuttling around your feet? Gee whiz Ward, weren't you just reading about some amazing back-to-school phone sales on that Groupon Coupons site? Now pay attention, Wally!