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BLACK FRIDAY WEEKEND 2017 SURVIVAL GUIDE

BY: Joseph R | Dec 11, 2018

BlackFriday2017 ATTENTION BLACK FRIDAY 2017 SHOPPERS: BLACK FRIDAY 2017 IS HERE! I REPEAT: BLACK FRIDAY 2017 IS HERE! I'M NOT YELLING, THIS IS JUST MY VOICE AFTER I DRANK 2 GALLONS OF COFFEE AT 4AM TO SIT IN FRONT OF THIS BEST BUY! (drinks more coffee) YEAAAAAH, CAN YOU FEEEEL THE SAVIIIIIINGS!?!?!?! OKAY, SO: YOU'RE WONDERING HOW TO MAKE THE MOST OF YOUR BLACK FRIDAY 2017 WEEKEND, AMIRITE? HOW CAN YOU POSSIBLY SURVIVE THE WICKED COLD AND LONG LINES TO GET THOSE COVETED IN-STORE AND ONLINE DEALS? WELL, WE HERE AT GROUPON COUPONS SENT OUR COUPON SCIENTIST JERRY (pictured) INTO THE WILD, DIAN FOSSEY-STYLE TO STUDY BLACK FRIDAY SHOPPERS' GEAR! HE'S PUT TOGETHER THIS TOTALLY EXTREME(!) SURVIVAL GUIDE FOR EVERYTHING YOU NEED FOR SAVING THIS FRIDAY, SATURDAY, AND BEYOND! CHECK OUT THESE SWEET SURVIVAL ITEMS, WHICH YOU CAN GET FOR LOW PRICES NOW DURING BLACK FRIDAY!!! (THIS IRONY TASTES LIKE COFFEE!)

  1. A Thermos (for your coffee!)
  2. A good scarf from EXPRESS (for your warmth!)
  3. Your preferred winter jacket from Kohl's (for your warmth, again!)
  4. Clif bars (for energy! and to go with your coffee!!!!)
  5. This chair from Bass Pro Shop (for your butt!)
  6. Hand warmers (for your........wait, what were these for again?)
  7. Winter boots (for kicking down doors TO SAVINGS!)
  8. A Kindle (for your eyeballs! to beat boredom!)
See? Now you can win Black Friday, all thanks to Groupon! Ooh man, I need more coffee.... (sips more coffee) HAVE A HAPPY THANKSGIVING AND BLACK FRIDAY WEEKEND, FROM OUR COUPON-ING FAMILY TO YOURS!!! LOVE, GROUPON COUPONS