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The Haunted Dolls Of eBay: An Investigation

BY: Christopher Mahar | Dec 11, 2018

There's a lot you can buy on eBay to make your life bettereasier, or just prettier. But what if you're looking for something that will bring chaos, danger, and terror into your home? Something unpredictable, something possibly psychotic, or something that gives off "nasty odors" and erratically moves locations when you aren't watching it? Then it sounds like you're in the market for a haunted doll, and don't worry, eBay has hundreds of listings for those as well. Groupon investigates haunted dolls While I couldn't find any explicit mention of rules that govern the selling of haunted items in eBay's policies, there does seem to be general agreement by sellers that some caveats are needed when listing children's toys that supposedly contain the immortal souls of the dead. Most listings contain some variation of "I am required as per eBay's policy on the paranormal to indicate that eBay forbids the sale of intangible items and this listing is for ONLY A TANGIBLE DOLL with NO promise of spirit attached. eBay requires me to say that this is all for ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY." Then they all launch into a story that promises how crazily haunted the doll in question is. Here are a few of the active haunted doll posts on eBay, in case you're looking to pick up JUST A DOLL that FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY has (OR HAS NOT) been possessed by the soul of the deceased this Halloween.

HAUNTED LOOKING DOLL. VIRAL SENSATION, CHUCKY'S SISTER. CRAIGSLIST DOLL. ($4,300)

eBay haunted doll Describing a doll as "haunted looking" is another dodge that allows sellers to get around claiming that they are selling a ghost. The description starts of with "Please note, I will never say that the doll is haunted, if it is it is, I don't necessarily believe in that." That disclaimer is then immediately followed by a claim that a "specialist" said "the doll is indeed possessed, possibly 5 or so head demons. Keep 'her' with a salt circle around." So: mixed messages here. This doll is the most expensive of the haunted dolls, on account of her supposed celebrity on the internet. A warning for pet owners: dogs will not stop barking at her.

Haunted Little Doll Edward Possessed ($75)

Possessed eBay doll This fellow comes with a story that explains how his previous owners started seeing dead people in their home right after purchasing him. It's unclear how they decided this was Edward's fault, but he can't defend himself. Also, you may notice that pictures of Edward and many other haunted dolls are not exactly of the highest quality. This is not the fault of the photographer, but rather because "paranormal items sometimes they just don't like their picture taken."

Haunted Baby Doll Dollbaby ~ Katie ~ Evil Active Buyer Beware Make Offer Scary ($39.99)

Katie the possessed eBay doll Katie's seller has a lot of haunted dolls in stock, which must make her house a wild place to visit. The listing for Katie says these dolls came from a "very powerful witch named Ruth", so there you go. She contains the spirit of a woman who killed two of her husbands and then was killed by her third, with each murder motivated by money. There is no explanation about how the seller knows this, but presumably Katie told Ruth, and then Ruth passed it along. Her spirit is very angry and active, manifesting in the refrigerator opening a few times on its own. On the plus side, if you welcome this little evil murdering doll into your home, she will tell you if your significant other has been faithful!

Haunted Baby Doll ~ Madison ~ Loves Animals Can Communicate With Them Active ($29.99)

Madison is a friendly haunted doll on ebay They aren't all bad. Madison also came from Ruth the witch, but she's a good ghost who only wants to help. Inhabited by the spirit of an animal-loving six-year-old girl who died in a tree climbing accident on the farm, Madison "will let you know what is happening with your animals and how they feel."