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Time to Go: A Groupon Coupons Story

BY: Christopher Mahar | Dec 11, 2018

[caption id="attachment_8955" align="aligncenter" width="715"]Spooky picture of a ghost or zombie girl of some sort Can we just get out of here? Now?[/caption]

Look, I'm very comfortable saying that something seems to have happened in your home. I'm sure there is an explanation, and I'm not saying I'm not curious as to what it is, but for now, maybe we should leave it at that and get out of here.

It's just, she seems angry.

I agree it's weird that she doesn't appear to have busted through from the bathroom. The bathroom wall is intact and you were just in there and don't remember seeing any demonic Samara-type woman in the tub or behind the door. It's a puzzler. 

You know what? Let's not pack a bag. I feel like neither of us should risk trying to get to your bureau. She's really animated and her nails seem sharp!

Hey, remember when we first came up here so that you could show me your new gallery wall of framed antique pictures of unsmiling children? I love it, by the way! Love. It. But remember how at first there was just a bulging behind the wall, like the wallpaper was all that separated our reality from an unimaginably terrifying world outside of our ability to comprehend?

What? Nonononono, that isn't what I'm saying at all! I'm a huge fan of the wallpaper! Nobody does it anymore, and when you do see it it's always some big baroque toile number that overpowers the room. I really admire the restraint and simplicity here. Retro without calling attention to itself, which is more than I can say for our...demon girl? We've decided she's a demon, yes?

It's just, do you remember how all this started with the wall bulging out a bit? And then the lights flickered and there was a very loud and discordant sound, and then we saw her hands come through? And then there was the blank curtain of her hair, followed by her shoulders?

My point is that this is all developing very fast. Soon she's going to get her hips through and you know she's going to do that spider-step thing. We should just go. Hit the road, let this whole thing play itself out for a couple days. Maybe come back with a priest.

Ah, now I see why you're hesitating. You were waiting for some Labor Day travel sales to help you save some money. Well don't worry about that! I got the scoop on all of the biggest early hotel, airfare, and car rental deals for the end of summer! Just slap on some shoes, scurry on out the front door, and navigate your phone over to Groupon Coupons.

Hotel Deals

  • Hilton: 20% Off Labor Day Travel
  • Marriott: Up To 40% Off Labor Day Savings
  • Hotels.com: Up To 50% Off + Extra 10% Off
  • Hyatt Hotels and Resorts: Save On Last-Minute Weekend Getaways
  • Hotwire: Up To 60% Off Hot Rate 4+ Star Hotels
  • Priceline: 5% Off Code
  • Orbitz: 15% Off Select Hotels Promo Code

Hotel + Flight Deals

  • Travelocity: 24-Hour Sale! | 40% Off Flights & Hotels
  • Booking.com: Save Up To 50% | End Of Summer Sale
  • Expedia: Save On Hotel And Flight

Flight Deals

  • CheapOair.com: Best Flight Deals For You
  • justfly.com: Up To 80% Off Flights

Car Rental Deals

  • Avis Rent A Car: Up To 25% Off | Avis Coupon Code
  • Budget Rent a Car: Up To $75 Off At Budget
Like what you've read? Check back here for the next edition of A Groupon Coupons Story.