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What You'll Get
Back pain is the worst kind of suffering. There's no getting around it. You can overcome the pain of heartbreak with a thrilling ride on a rollycoaster. The pain of baldness and shortness? Compensate by bodybuilding until you develop disgusting muscles that overshadow your condition. But back pain affects your every movement, zapping your energy and limiting your ability to live life with vigor.
Fix it. Cheap. With today's Groupon, you get a Chiropractic exam, X-ray, and follow-up consultation at Milton Chiropractic & Rehabilitation for only $39! That's 86% off the normal price of $265. At your follow-up consultation, they'll go over your X-ray results and suggest customized treatments to improve your health.
Although it’s called Milton Chiropractic and Rehabilitation, it’s not actually located in Milton. In fact, they have 8 convenient locations in the Greater Boston area. You can use your Groupon at any location, including Quincy, Dorchester, Attleboro, Roslindale, Brockton, Taunton, Weymouth and Somerset. All offices are open Mon-Fri from 8:30 a.m. to 7:00 p.m., so you can schedule an evening appointment, if that’s more convenient. They're even open for half-days on Saturdays. The other half of their Saturdays the chiropractors perform experiments on their own vertebrae to increase their medical knowledge and serve you better!
Beside neck and back pain, Milton Chiropractic can help you find relief from herniated disks, sciatica, whiplash, scoliosis, headaches and more. And of course, regular chiropractic treatment increases energy and mobility, relieves tension and stress, restores nerve health, and improves your immune system (how timely!).
The back is a sensitive organ. To keep it happy, you must talk to it - like a plant. Milton's chiropractors know how to sweet talk your back until it feels good again. They have many years of training under their belts. Although when they remove their belts, all that experience can fall out, which is why they haven't their changed pants in decades. In fact, the accumulated weight of all those years of training has become trapped inside their muscle tissue, creating concentric dilated vein circles on their legs. Like an old tree, you can tell how many years of training a Milton chiropractor has by counting their vein rings. That's just one of the many ways that Milton's chiropractors suffer through their own pain to help relieve yours. With each treatment, they absorb your misery, then compassionately bearing it themselves. Milton chiropractors are not only martyrs, but renegades. Upon reaching critical mass, these selfless healers release this self-absorbed pain upon bullies and crooks of their choosing. You're a good person. You don't deserve the pain. Get your Groupon and allow Milton to redistribute your pain upon society’s vermin.
The Fine Print
Promotional value expires Nov 8, 2009. Amount paid never expires. Call ahead to schedule Times subject to availability Valid at any of 8 locations 1 per person Merchant is solely responsible to purchasers for the care and quality of the advertised goods and services.