With today's Groupon, $45 gets you a $100 session at Alban Acupuncture at 57 West 57th Street, Suite 1109. In a 60-75 minute acupuncture session, Joseph Alban will help reduce your dependence on medication for pain; plus, after you take all those needles out of your body, you'll finally have a utensil set for those little squares of cheese.

Traditional Chinese medicine works by correcting imbalances in the body. Acupuncture is a natural, effective treatment for joint, neck, back, shoulder, and hip pain; anxiety; depression; insomnia; headaches and migraines; sinus problems and allergies; smoking addiction; obesity; and more. After your body regains its natural balance, you'll feel healthier, more energized, and finally able to grab the pebble from the master's hand.

Here's what some of the patients say about Alban Acupuncture:

• "I went to Joseph Alban after suffering from severe pelvic pain and prostatitis. I originally thought the pain was brought on from an infection...But upon reflection, I have come to realize that each bout with prostate pain was probably from stress. Through Joseph Alban acupuncture, I discovered that there is indeed a link between the mind and the body. In addition, I learned that stress is a major cause of disfunction and imbalance. The treatments I received from Joseph have helped me tremendously..." -D.F.
• "I would recommend Dr. Alban to my friends and colleagues without reservation! He has extensive training and experience in the U.S. and in China so I have faith in his medical skill and knowledge. His technique is extremely gentle while his manner is caring, quietly confident and reassuring...My diabetes is improved and well controlled and I have a sense of well being. Thank you Dr. Alban." -G.G.
• "I first came to Alban Acupuncture because I suffered from poor digestion, fatigue, and excessive sweating/hyperhidrosis. Now, my digestion is much, much better and I feel less exhausted. My sweating has decreased enormously and I am no longer self-conscious about wearing light-colored shirts. I am very, very satisfied with the results. His treatments and care are fantastic!" -RT, Teacher

Acupuncture corrects imbalances by stimulating specific points on the body that help the body's energy or qi to flow smoothly. Every visit, the nurses measure your qi pressure, which is similar to measuring your blood pressure except the inflatable gauge thing is placed around your soul. Joseph Alban completed a hospital residency at the Hunan University of Chinese Medicine in Chinese herbal medicine, acupuncture, and acupressure. His oldest patient is 354 years old.