What You'll Get
Have you ever asked your butler to bring you one of your live lobsters, only to hear him reply “But sir, all the lobsters you placed in our freshwater yard pond have died.” “Blasts! I’ll have to hatch another batch of lobster eggs in my nursery,” you say - but year after year, they hatch, and promptly die. May Groupon offer an alternate strategy? When you want live lobster, simply have it delivered - straight from the salty ocean to your front door!
Today’s Groupon does just that, and at an enormous discount. For just $84 (including next-day shipping & handling) you get the Select Minute Man Pack from Patriot Lobster ($50 off the $87 retail price + $47 S&H). You won’t even find a price this low at Red Lobster.
Patriot Lobster specializes in high quality fresh fish & live lobsters to restaurants, markets, hotels, institutions, caterers, corporate functions and even your own home. Here’s what the Minute Man Pack gets you:
- 2 Select (1.5 - 1.74 lbs ea.) Live Lobsters
- 2 lbs Littleneck Clams
- 2 x 20 oz. New England Clam Chowder
- 2 x 2 oz. Seafood Butter Cups
- All the required utensils: 1 Clam Knife; 2 Lobster Bibs; 2 Red Plastic Shell Crackers; 2 Red Plastic Seafood Picks; and 2 Wet Naps
- One 5” American Flag
- Cooking & Eating Instructions
- Packed in an insulated air container with fresh seaweed and frozen gel ice
- Overnight delivery!
- $47 shipping charge is included in Groupon’s price!
Everybody who gets this thing is crazy about it. Listen to these satisfied crazies, who emailed Patriot Lobster to tell them how happy they were:
- “Thank you so much. The lobsters were perfect. They arrived in plenty of time, nice and fresh and lively. We will definetly order from you in the future.” - John and Michele
- “I am so pleased with your company and the lobsters that we received. They arrived very much alive and on the day that we needed them. Living in the Midwest now, lobster is a definite treat for us. Now that I have discovered your company these treats will happen a little more often.I would definitely recommend your company to anyone looking for the live lobsters. It was great and very much a success for the party!!” - Rebecca
- “My order arrived yesterday late afternoon. Thank you. The lobsters look great and your cooking directions are very helpful.” - Liz
The Select Lobsters you get with this deal are the big guys (1.5-1.74 pounds each). If you haven’t had lobster this fresh, you haven’t really had lobster. And everyone should have the experience at least once of getting a living thing in the mail. So unless you’re finally ready to pull the trigger on that mail order bride, get today’s Groupon and cross another item off your bucket list.
Patriot Lobster began when the United Lobster Emirates were divided in civil strife, and Patriot Lobster rebelled against the valueless and unpatriotic practices of the Urban Society of Lobsters. When the USL voted against a constitutional amendment defining marriage as being between two lobsters (inter-species crab marriages were on the rise), Patriot Lobster fought behind the valiant Mr. Lobster (a rare photo to the right) to reclaim lobster values from the USL, with all their readin n ritin. Since the passage of the Patriot Act, Patriot Lobster’s mission has been accomplished in the legal sense, but continues carry significance for all lobsters who are pure of mind and spirit, a state of mind reflecting a lobster’s oneness with their homogenous culture. This story, by the way, makes for quite a pre-dinner parlor speech… so be sure to impress your guests with the origin tale of your Patriot Lobsters.
The Fine Print
Promotional value expires Jul 1, 2009. Amount paid never expires. No deliveries on Sunday, Monday or Holidays dues to carrier restrictions. Rural Area & Saturday Deliveries are an extra charge, Please visit www.patriotlobster.com/groupon39.html or call (866) 456-2782 to schedule your delivery. Merchant is solely responsible to purchasers for the care and quality of the advertised goods and services.