A session with teeth whitening pioneers BriteSmile usually costs about $600. If you wait for a sale, you might only pay $350, or $300 once in a blue moon. Today, we're pleased to bring back one of our most popular deals: teeth whitening for only $185. That's 69% off! We know $185 is a chunk of change, but for what you're getting, nothing comes close. If you've ever considered teeth whitening, get today's Groupon (good at BriteSmile's 840 N. Michigan and Woodfield Mall locations) and save hundreds of dollars.
BriteSmile's patented stain-busting technique involves UV technology and fancy lamps that shine gentle blue light all over your teeth to whiten them. As the BriteSmilers work, you can sleep, watch TV, or just relax. When the hour is up, your teeth will be in factory-new condition. Customers have seen their teeth get 14 shades lighter. Your smile will dazzle your boss, significant other(s), prospective job interviewers and anyone else you want to impress. Already had your teeth whitened? Email friends who need to keep their smile looking good for professional reasons (salespeople, politicians, Marlboro spokespeople, teeth models, etc.) so that they can take advantage and move up the ladder.
Aside from the obvious benefits of teeth whitening—professional advancement, increased sex appeal, etc.—are lesser-known practical advantages. For instance, if you and your partner each get a treatment, you'll not only look better for each other, but you can use each other's teeth as mirrors when you need to comb your eyebrows on the go. If you ever lose a post-whitened tooth, you can find an African ivory poacher and trade it for gold. This Groupon also makes an excellent gift for a loved one with disgusting teeth. If you've been slacking on maintaining your basset hound's dental hygiene, make up for it by giving them the gift of teeth whitening: they'll be obliviously happy anyway, and you can attribute their joy to your generosity.
Don't be fooled by the laser-whitening treatments you see listed for $199—they won't get your teeth nearly as white as BriteSmile (8 shades vs. BriteSmile's 10-14 shades), nor will they last as long (6 months vs. BriteSmile's 1-2 years). That’s YEARS. Those are scams run by evil doctors who live for the thrill of shooting unsuspecting patients in the mouth with real lasers! A manicure might last you a week. A wax? Maybe two. But a BrightSmile teeth whitening treatment will take you well past when Back to the Future was supposed to take place. Get your Groupon!