Household grime, if left unchecked, will inevitably develop into miniature civilizations whose complex network of treaties erupts into a devastating house-wide reenactment of World War I. Spare yourself the trouble of tripping over tiny trenches with today's Groupon: for $89, you get two hours of cleaning by a team of two from A Cleaning Maid In Heaven (a $180 value). A Cleaning Maid In Heaven will travel to homes within a 20-mile radius of the 23112 zip code.

A Cleaning Maid In Heaven prides itself on compensating employees well for thorough and thoughtful cleaning jobs that make houses more hygienic than a germaphobic Mr. Clean. With this deal, two cleaners—toting their own battalion of cleaning supplies—will spend two hours dusting, removing cobwebs, vacuuming carpets, washing floors, and emptying trash cans in every room. In the kitchen, the pristine-making professionals will clean the outsides of appliances, counters, tables, sinks, backsplashes, microwaves, range tops, and countertops, and render the floor immaculate enough for an impromptu kipper picnic.

Vanities, toilets, chrome, and other neglected residents of the bathroom will admire themselves in the newly shiny mirror after being thoroughly scrubbed, sanitized, and deodorized. Though this service will benefit anyone averse to the onset of Saturn-sized smudges, it is especially well suited to busy households, people with physical limitations, or artists who sculpt in lint.

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