Humans possess the soft, muscular shell necessary to reap the benefits of a massage, unlike turtles, whose hard carapaces turn massages into drum solos. Pamper your corporeal carriage with today's Groupon: for $35, you get a one-hour massage (a $75 value) at A True North Massage on Western Avenue. This Groupon is valid for new clients only.
The licensed massage therapist at A True North Massage mollycoddles muscle fibers in a one-hour massage designed to release tension and pent-up stress. A deep-tissue massage delves deep into the sinews to flush out toxins and work out muscle knots before rearranging them into animal origami, while a Swedish massage uses long, smooth strokes to stimulate the nervous system and promote relaxation. The massage therapist can knead athletic flesh in a specific area, such as a runner's tight hamstring or a bowler's sore thumb, providing specialized attention with a sports massage, while moms-to-be can enjoy a gentle pregnancy massage targeting aching muscles. Although not included in the Groupon, other services are available for an additional fee.