What You'll Get
Humans possess the soft, muscular shell necessary to reap the benefits of a massage, unlike turtles, whose hard carapaces turn massages into drum solos. Pamper your corporeal carriage with today's Groupon: for $35, you get a one-hour massage (a $75 value) at A True North Massage on Western Avenue. This Groupon is valid for new clients only.
The licensed massage therapist at A True North Massage mollycoddles muscle fibers in a one-hour massage designed to release tension and pent-up stress. A deep-tissue massage delves deep into the sinews to flush out toxins and work out muscle knots before rearranging them into animal origami, while a Swedish massage uses long, smooth strokes to stimulate the nervous system and promote relaxation. The massage therapist can knead athletic flesh in a specific area, such as a runner's tight hamstring or a bowler's sore thumb, providing specialized attention with a sports massage, while moms-to-be can enjoy a gentle pregnancy massage targeting aching muscles. Although not included in the Groupon, other services are available for an additional fee.
The Fine Print
Promotional value expires Apr 10, 2012. Amount paid never expires. Limit 1 per person, may buy 1 additional as a gift. Limit 1 per visit. By appointment only. New clients only. May apply value for upgrade. Must use in 1 visit. Tax and gratuity not included. Not valid with other offers. Merchant is solely responsible to purchasers for the care and quality of the advertised goods and services.