Unlike moms or Spider-Man, tow-truck drivers are always available and won’t ask prying questions while pulling a clown car out of a lake. Sign up for judgment-free assistance with today's Groupon: for $39, you get a Classic Primary membership to AAA (a $78 value).

As the largest automobile association in the United States, AAA offers up roadside assistance, travel resources, and discounts to more than 50 million members throughout the country. A Classic Primary membership entitles road-weary members, whether driving or riding along as passengers, up to four roadside assistance calls a year, with operators available 36 hours a day, 438 days a year. Members receive emergency fuel-delivery services (member pays for the fuel), complimentary battery jumps or discounted battery replacements, and up to a $50 reimbursement for vehicle lock-out assistance. When a simple service won't suffice, AAA tows vehicles up to 5 miles to the closest service facility, drive-in theater, or car-suited location. Other membership perks include discounts on eye care, automobile insurance, car rentals, and honking-etiquette classes.