Though dogs can take care of themselves, they choose not to—instead focusing their efforts on chasing squirrels, licking marmalade off babies, and learning American Sign Language. Give hard-working dogs or cats the attention they deserve with today's Groupon: for $20, you get $40 worth of self-service dog washing and nail trimming at ABQ Dogtown.

ABQ Dogtown houses a professional DIY bathing area that allows pet owners to clean their metaphorical best friends without sullying their home bathrooms and kitchen sinks. A self-service dog wash ($10–$25 depending on weight and hair thickness) provides guests with all materials needed to defunk Fido, from shampoo and conditioner to combs, perfumes, towels, and rubber duckies that bark instead of quack. While at-home dog baths often resemble in-tub Greco-Roman wrestling matches, ABQ's professional bathing stations tilt scales toward owners with high sinks that hold pups still at a back-friendly level. Specialty shampoos ($3) hydrate coats with oatmeal elixirs or treat them with flea and tick medicine, and dog-friendly dryers speed the drying of thick fur with a skin-sensitive temperature. Nail clipping takes extra finesse, so ABQ's friendly dog whisperers will trim claws themselves ($10). The staff mops up after exuberant dog baths, and although not included in this Groupon, ABQ Dogtown also offers a boutique brimming with new and consignment dog toys, chews, leashes, and Dog-Human translation dictionaries.