Acupuncture is said to unblock the body’s energy pathways, similar to the way a busy sidewalk is easily cleared by poking pedestrians with a javelin. Remove troublesome obstacles with today's Groupon: for $70, you get an acupuncture package at Abundant Health Acupuncture (a $215 total value). The package includes:

• A 45-minute initial consultation (a $85 value)
• Two one-hour treatments (a $65 value each)
  
  

Certified acupuncturist Gladys Novak aims to shepherd clients toward a healthier state during one-hour needle-based treatments designed to manage pain and relieve the symptoms from a plethora of bodily ailments. During the initial consultation, Novak will evaluate the medical history of each patient, asses their individual needs, determine the sources of their symptoms, and construct a custom treatment plan. She'll also go over a basic introduction to Chinese medicine, describing the philosophies and techniques employed in the wellness quest. Then Novak will gingerly place thin needles at various points in the body, which many believe can help augment the flow of energy throughout the body and impale any kamikaze attack spiders. After treatment, beleaguered backs may find much-needed relief from discomfort, and sufferers of headaches, stress, arthritis, and seasonal affective disorder may also discover relief.