A glowing smile charms irritable librarians, stern highway-patrol officers, and judges with highfalutin ideas about driving through the library. Flaunt your beaming beauty with today's Groupon: for $48, you get a take-home teeth-whitening kit from Armstrong Advanced Dental Concepts in Windham (a $199 value).

The staff at Armstrong Advanced Dental Concepts helps grins to reach their brightest potential by outfitting them with LumiBrite take-home whitening kits. Dingy chompers head to the office for a prescreening session, after which dentists take their molds to craft custom-made whitening trays and gelatin head statues. Patients then fill their personalized tooth cozies with 32% carbamide peroxide, which paints the enamel canvas in a hydroxyapatite trompe l'oeil to fill in surface defects and enhance toothy glows, for one hour of daily wear. Treatments may last up to 10 days depending on the intended level of whiteness and varying speeds of planetary rotation. Patients may upgrade their experience to an in-office treatment for an additional $299.