Unlike real spiders, spider veins are impervious to rolled-up magazines and rarely inspire beloved children’s novels. Squash pesky skin arachnids with today's Groupon: for $99, you get three spider-vein treatments at Advanced Skincare Solutions in Sherwood (a $350 value).

As masters of beam-based beauty, Dr. Chris Cobb and his licensed medical staff reduce the appearance of unsightly vascular webs with advanced laser technology. A minimally invasive series of zaps seals off offending veins with strong pulses of light, gradually clearing skin of purplish tendrils and maps of the Tallapoosa River watershed. Though the first session clears out its share of dermal cobwebs, the staff typically recommends three treatments to achieve arachnid-free skin. A certified physician, Dr. Cobb oversees each of the laser procedures, which take place three to four weeks apart. Dr. Cobb’s beautifying laser therapy accommodates all types of skin, as he first practiced his art on the coarse hides of his fellow Razorbacks at the University of Arkansas.