Less prone to explosions, bird collisions, and painful butt-burns, the segway has edged out the jetpack as the official ride of the 23rd century. Today's Groupon gives you the chance to practice on these leisurely chariots of fire lest the future overtake you at 12.5 miles per hour. For $42, you get a segway tour of Uptown, Tlaquepaque, and Oak Creek Park from Adventures Out West, with tours starting in Fort McDowell and Sedona (an $85 value).

Shuttling down city streets and dirt trails, Adventures Out West leads off-road excursionists through the desert and red rocks of the Sedona backcountry. Lasting 105 minutes, sightseeing tours give riders an easy-going and elevated trip through Sedona's prehistoric landscape, from red-rock formations shaped 350 million years ago to granite grills assembled by packs of Paleolithic tailgaters. After scootering through the neighborhood streets of Uptown, tours shoot down Jordan Road and through Heritage Park, with a downhill departure into the Tlaquepaque arts-and-crafts village and Los Abrigados park. Equilibrious roadsters will rumble over cobble stone streets as passerby gaze, give high-fives, and try to bum rides to the nearest tumbleweed convention.

Providing a guide and all necessary equipment, Adventures Out West will pretrain participants with 20–30 minutes in the cone zone, expounding on the basics and potential risks of segway steerage. Adventures Out West asks that participants should be able to nimbly step off a curb and physically climb stairs without the use of a railing or an antigravity slinky.