Less prone to explosions, bird collisions, and painful butt burns, the segway has edged out the jetpack as the official ride of the 23rd century. Practice on these leisurely chariots of fire lest the future overtake you at 12.5 miles per hour with today’s Groupon to Adventures Out West. Choose between the following options:

• For $42, you get a segway X2 off-road tour of Fort McDowell or Sedona for one person (an $85 value).
• For $80, you get a segway X2 off-road tour of Fort McDowell or Sedona for two people (a $170 value).<p>

Shuttling past the Sonoran Desert’s arid flora and fauna on segway X2s, Adventures Out West’s guides lead off-road excursionists through the desert and red rocks of the Sedona backcountry. Riders embark on easygoing and elevated 90-minute sightseeing tours through Arizona’s prehistoric landscape, from red-rock formations shaped 350 million years ago to granite grills assembled by packs of Paleolithic tailgaters. Scootering sessions go off the beaten path into the mysterious depths of the desert, spying the land’s towering saguaro cacti and curious creatures while perched atop a segway for an exhaustion-free desert hike. Equilibrious roadsters will rumble over the native caliche earth on the X2’s sturdy off-roading tires, easily traversing the dry terrain without needing to bum a ride from a passing tumbleweed.

Adventures Out West’s guides will pre-train participants, who will be armed with all the necessary equipment, with 20–30 minutes in the cone zone, expounding on the basics and potential risks of segway steerage. Adventures Out West asks that participants should be able to nimbly step off a curb and physically climb stairs without the use of a railing or an antigravity slinky.