Though blood tests are easy for the patient, they’re difficult for the blood, which must answer difficult questions, reveal its secrets, and figure out a way to sign its name with itself. See what your blood’s been up to with today’s Groupon: for $25, you get $50 worth of blood tests at Affordable Labs in Vernon Hills.

Affordable Labs eschews the insurance-company rigmarole and provides low-cost medical work directly to patients. Ideal for customers with high-deductible insurance plans, no insurance, or those wishing to have a blood test done for a non-covered service, Affordable Labs performs cholesterol, arthritis, and all other blood tests requested by your doctor at a low cost, returning results within 48 hours. Visitors schedule an appointment and rest in a relaxing office for 15–30 minutes while a sure-handed phlebotomist draws their blood. A lab then analyzes the blood to determine a variety of factors, such as cholesterol levels ($40), diabetes ($29), thyroid function ($43), and the presence of ice water.