What You'll Get
Your teeth are your mouth's ambassadors, your ticket to nachos, and the only things keeping your tongue in your head. Toughen your nacho ticket with today's Groupon. For $99, you get one dental exam, a set of x-rays, and a full oral cleaning (a $330 value) at Airport Dental on Airport Boulevard in Central Austin. This deal will also get you half off a teeth-whitening kit including custom trays and bleaching solution (normally $199) if purchased on the day of the appointment.
After a thorough oral exam at the experienced hands and feet of either Emily Craft or Michael Nussbaum, your dentist will take x-rays to ensure that your mouth is structurally sound and free of miniature civilizations. Finally, your facial cavern's stalactites and stalagmites will be scrubbed, polished, and re-released into the wild so that your primary intake valve can resume its normally scheduled operations of consuming food and making humorous gargling sounds when sprayed with seltzer.
Teeth have all kinds of useful uses: They make passable chef tuques for G.I. Joe action figures. Incisors can double as bulletin-board thumbtacks. Dislodged molars make functional 12-sided dice for all dexterity-related calculations in Dungeons & Dragons. As such, it's important to remind them that they're loved every six months lest they feel neglected and nonsmiley. Airport Dental Care accepts Medicaid and private insurance, but even the uninsured can get in on today's Groupon, so buy extras as gifts for any friends whose current dental plans are whittling dentures out of pinewood in preparation for the day their real ones explode.
The Fine Print
Promotional value expires May 14, 2011. Amount paid never expires. Limit 1 per person, may buy 3 additional as gifts. Not valid with other offers. Merchant is solely responsible to purchasers for the care and quality of the advertised goods and services.